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Love

A Box full of Kisses

A Box full of Kisses

A Box full of KissesThe best portion of a good man’s life are his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~William Wordsworth

The story goes back to some time ago. A man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought
the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” The man was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside?” The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, Daddy.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each one of us, as humans beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses… in form of our loving family, well wishers, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold more precious than this, yet many times we don’t realize the value of this love and take it for granted.

Radhanath Swami captures the essence. He says, ‘Love means reciprocation. Therefore, you can’t love buildings or cars or money because there is no reciprocation.’ People around us may love us in manners that are unknown to us but when we open ourselves to be recipients of that love and reciprocate equally, we feel positively charged with that love.

 

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Love

The Yoga of Marriage

The Yoga of Marriage

The Yoga of Marriage If one cares for the whole picture, the little details can be adjusted to blend with the whole, but if one loses sight of the whole picture, little things assume all-importance and cause strife. – Radhanath Swami

Yoga means to bring together, to harmonize, to unite. It’s highest expression is the union of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul God. Union is

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Love

God Loves You

God Loves You

God Loves YouIf we have love of God in our life, it really does not matter whether we don’t have anything or whether we have everything; we will be satisfied because of that love.- Radhanath Swami

A well-known speaker started off his public speech in a strange manner – by holding up a Rupee 1000 Note! Holding up the Note high in the air in one of his hands, he addressed the curious audience, “Who would like this Rupee 1000 Note?”

With great cheer almost all of them raised their hands & shouted, “I want it,” “I want it”!! He said, “Oh! That’s nice. Well, I am going to give this note to one of you… But, first let me do this.” Then, he crumpled the Note in his hands vigorously & now he showed the awkwardly wrinkled 1000 Rupee Note by holding up high in his hand and asked everyone, “Who still wants it?” The same hands went up in the air this time too. “Well”, he replied, “What if I do this?” and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe like a mad man. It seemed he was deriving great pleasure in his unusual act. He picked up the note, by now all crumpled and dirty. It was so smudgy that no one could recognize it now as a 1000 Rupee Note. He said “Now, who still wants it?” Strangely, despite the condition of the note, all the hands were up in the air with equal cheer & spirit.

Now, he addressed his audience with great feeling. “My friends,” he said, “You have all learned a very valuable lesson today. No matter what I did to this valuable Note, all of you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth the same – Rs.1000/-.”

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt of shame & insult by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come in our way in our dealings with people, especially loved ones. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your inherent value for God loves you just the way you are!

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Thank you God for everything!

Thank you God for everything!

Radhanath Swami - Thank you God for everything!‘It doesn’t take a great person to blame others or to complain, but it takes a very very great person to thank god in difficulties.’ – Radhanath Swami

According to our karmas (manifest/unmainfest effects of our actions), we have a particular destiny. But however good our karma is, there will be honor and distress, pleasure and pain, success and failure, heat and cold etc because this is a world of dualities. You cannot have one without the other. But if you become attached to the positive side, to that degree you will suffer when the negative side inevitably comes before us. The solution to this is given by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, He tells us that we should transcend the dualities of life. But, how to transcend dualities of love/hate in a marriage or happiness/ distress in the work place or pride/humility when we have competition or pleasure/pain while raising children?

We can transcend dualities by seeing the Lord in everything, by looking upon circumstances in our lives as His mercy that has come to help us grow into a beautiful person, beyond our vision. And when we learn to offer the fruits of our action as an act of service for god, we can instantly transcend the dualities of material existence and enter the divine realm, beyond love/hate relationships and we are then able to see the other person as a gift of God who has come to us to help us get over our own anarthas (contamination’s) that block our spiritual growth.

tat te ‘nukampäà su-samékñamäëo

bhuïjäna evätma-kåtaà vipäkam

håd-väg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te

jéveta yo mukti-pade sa däya-bhäk.

(Srimad Bhagvatam 10:14:8)

Radhanath Swami explains,“When a person is undergoing serious tribulations, and in that condition with folded palms and tears of sincerity in his heart he thanks god saying I deserved worst, but I know my lord you have a purpose behind this and I am grateful.”

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude - Radhanath SwamiAttitude of Gratitude: No.1 success factor in a marriage

Gratitude is to seek beyond the immediate circumstances that come upon us, and to actually seek the essence of that situation- Radhanath Swami

Gratitude, is a quality of the heart. Radhanath Swami says, “If we want true progress, we must develop this quality, especially in a husband-wife relationship, for it is one of the most important success factors in a marriage.” Without gratitude, even in the most favorable situation in our marriage, we cannot really progress. When we are ungrateful, even if we have the best companion, we start to complain and blame the other. Without gratitude, you cannot satisfy the heart. Because whatever you get, you feel you deserve better and you want something more. To seek the essence is real wisdom, and the essence of every situation is that we can feel and find a beautiful opportunity to grow—if we are grateful.

The universal principle of all spiritual paths and a very basic principle that Sri Bhagavad Gita teaches us is that we should be grateful for whatever God gives us. Radhanath Swami teaches us how to learn to feel grateful. He says when good things come our way, we should think,”I don’t deserve this, but I am so grateful.” Any little bit of kindness that a person shows us, we should be grateful. Any blessing we receive we should be grateful. And when difficulties, pain, or failures cross our paths, we must learn to be grateful for those as well. For we could learn and we could grow through that invaluable experience. Otherwise, we miss a precious chance. By learning to be grateful, we learn to come closer to our spouse and understand them better. Eventually, with a grateful heart, one can even come closer to God Himself. Thus, by nurturing the quality of Gratitude, we improve the qualities of our own lives & it enables us to overcome the obstacles that keep us from our progress.

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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Everything I do, I do it for You

Everything I do, I do it for You

Everything I do, I do it for YouWe have the tendency to unconsciously overestimate our contributions relative to that of others. It is called “unconscious over claiming.” For example, in one study, when students in a work group each estimated their contribution to the team, the total was 139 percent.

Likewise, in a relationship, if you ask the husband, he will tell you that he is working like a donkey to keep the house together and to provide for his family and that he is doing more than his fair share. If you ask the wife, she will tell you that she is cooking three times a day, taking care of the kids, doing the domestic chores apart from her official work and that she is doing more than normal for her family. Undoubtedly, both of them are putting in their efforts. Are they feeling appreciated enough for their efforts or do they feel overburdened by it? That is the question. Secondly, do they feel their partner is sharing their responsibility equally? If they do feel appreciated & their respective roles enjoyable, it is the ideal situation. However, most couples over time start feeling lack of appreciation and their roles burdensome and might even blame their partners for not sharing their ‘burden.’

Most of the burden that the couples feel is on a mental plane because physically our bodies can take a lot more work load if on the mental level we are not already feeling saturated. Most of the saturation comes from lack of appreciation. When there is no appreciation of each other’s contribution, we feel, ‘mentally overburdened.’ A husband who doesn’t feel appreciated for his contributions will start spending more time outside of home either at work or at a place where he feels appreciated, will slowly wean from his duties on the home front, adding to the ‘mental burden’ of his wife. A wife who feels unappreciated, withdraws or shows her anger all the time, adding to the complexity of the situation and to the ‘mental burden’ of her husband. If the situation persists longer with no effort to rectify it or non-communication, then it either perpetuates into ‘blame games,’ or fights or if the mode of reaction of either of the partner is passive anger, then silence just keeps widening the distance between them.

Breaking this vicious cycle means keeping our egoistic agendas aside and truly helping the other person by understanding and appreciating his or her contributions to the family. It means good amount of mental preparation and making a fresh commitment towards the family.

Sometimes it becomes easy to notice all that our spouse doesn’t do. So, if you struggle with a critical spirit toward your spouse, you must also deal in rooting out your negative quality of criticism. Criticism tears down a marriage, while appreciation builds up a relationship. When we appreciate each other, the other person not only feels good about himself/herself but also feels understood and motivated to do more.

So, if you are caught in this habit of not appreciating your spouse for all the hardwork he/ she puts in to keep the family going together, I suggest that you pick up a pen and paper right now and make a list of things that he/she does everyday that you appreciate but have hardly communicated to the other. Whatever you observe, make sure that you sincerely applaud the action. Sincerity will cause your appreciation to touch the heart and soul of your loved one. Then, link the action to a quality of character. This takes more skill. Some

excellent qualities to consider connecting to actions are:

• Caring
• Compassion
• Confidence
• Cooperation
• Courage
• Creativity
• Enthusiasm
• Flexibility
• Helpfulness
• Honesty
• Patience
• Responsibility
• Thoughtfulness
When you use qualities like these in an acknowledgement, it spreads light into the recipient’s heart, encourages them to be aware of and keep practicing the quality, and creates a positive bond of appreciation or love between you. An example is:

“I appreciate how thoughtful you are in our relationship. Making sure we have breakfast every morning, packing my lunch, and getting back early from office to ensure that the kids do their homework and preparing dinner for the family so as to make our lives together smoother and easier.”

How can I appreciate my spouse? I seem to have long forgotten that art! I feel too embarrassed/ reluctant to start doing something new! Everything seems to be going fine, why bother doing something new? If these are your thoughts, remember: your spouse is ‘the’ most important person in your life and he/she is god’s gift to you so that you have a companion for life and with his/her help you can perfect your life! Probably ‘this’ is your only chance to show how much you appreciate him/her in your life! So, waste no time!

If only we can just appreciate what we have been given, God will reveal Himself to us – Radhanath Swami

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

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Love

Hijacked

Hijacked

HijackedReal protection is an expression of real affection and respect – Radhanath Swami.

In the middle of nowhere, guns staring at my face, masked men sneering me, with no escape route, helpless. I was held hostage, because the flight I boarded got, yes, hijacked! Thank God, the alarm clock rescued me. Getting married is like boarding a plane to spiritual perfection. If we sincerely practice spiritual principles like chanting the names of God, and if we surround ourselves with the association of advanced devotees of God, then it’s certain that we would be able to continue our journey to spiritual perfection. The association of devotees, their prayers for us, and the chanting of the Holy Names of God provide us super-tight security for our married journey through life.

If we truly love each other, we must protect one another. Real protection is an expression of real affection and respect, Radhanath Swami remarks. Real protection is protection not only of the body and mind, but of the soul as well. No doubt that a certain amount of enjoyment and comforts are natural to married life. But the relationship must be seen as a facilitator for serving God. With such a purposeful existence, married couples can bring about astonishingly significant positive changes not only in their own lives, but also in the lives of those they interact with.

But such a life is possible only if we have the association of devotees. The illusory temporary pleasures of this world are always trying to hijack our propensity for devotion. If we are not strict in following the spiritual principles and regulations, hijackers will surely board our plane. They will board through our uncontrolled mind and senses. And they will force this airship of human life to go to forbidden places – where all we do is try to enjoy material life and become attached to such illusory enjoyment. As long as we are thus held captive by our material attachments, we are helpless hostages.

Radhanath Swami spurs us on: Make your homes and lives beautiful temples where together you can serve the Lord. Come together in the spirit of cooperation. Try to serve each other and help others come in touch with devotees. Thus, have a very safe and comfortable spiritual flight to perfection.

The holy sound of the chanting of the Holy Names every day, along with regular hearing from the Holy Scriptures in the association of pure souls, is the only way to awaken from the nightmare of being hijacked by gross materialism.