Tag: father

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Tolerate

Beautiful Gift!

Beautiful Gift!

Beautiful Gift!A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. On the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.

His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, artistically-bound Holy Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money you give me a Holy book?” and slamming the door, he stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book on his father’s study.

He never contacted his father again for long long time. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the still new Holy Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Holy Bible and began to turn the pages. As he Read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the book. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL. The young man fell to the ground, devastated!

Like the young many, we too have a strong tendency of misjudging other persons especially the actions of our near and dear ones. We not only judge them wrongly but also behave harshly towards them. Many times we donot like GOD’s gift to us because they are not packaged as per our expectation! How unfortunate is this situation in which we’re knowingly turning blind to our blessings. The only cure to give up this tendency is to be tolerant–tolerant of every person in our lives because THEY are in real, GOD’s gift to us!

In his book ‘The Journey Home,’ Radhanath Swami articulates,“Through the practice of devotion to God, I was coming to learn that preserving loving relations in this world required much forgiveness, tolerance, patience, gratitude, and humility. An essential virtue of humility is to accept others for what they are, despite differences. I contemplated again how the tendency to judge others is often a symptom of insecurity, immaturity, or selfishness, and I yearned to rise above it.”

Categories
Tolerate

A Hole in the fence

A Hole in the fence

A Hole in the fence“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Lord Buddha

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

In the vedic scriptures, it is said that the source of lust and anger is pride. And in a subtle form, if there is a wrath that means, there must also be pride and lust. These are different expressions of the same attachment within our hearts. Radhanath Swami, therefore, says that we have to go right to the root of the problem which is our material desires and material attachments and only with the help of chanting the Holy Names of the Lord and performing devotional service to the Lord, we can go to the root of that problem and purify our heart. He further elaborates that in the meantime while this purification is taking place, on the external level we must be very careful and tolerate any inclination towards offensive activities.


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Love

Our Actions mirror us!

Our Actions mirror us!Our actions mirror us. They bring back what we give out. If we give out love and care, it brings back love & care to us. If we give out hatred and intolerance, it brings back hatred and intolerance. So, check and correct your own actions and see how favorable results await you. – Radhanath Swami

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in- law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer and she decided to do something about it!

Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem at oncel. Mr.Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, ‘Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.’ Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li- Li, ‘You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her everyday from now on. ‘Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.’ Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in- law.

Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law everyday. She remembered what Mr.Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like a queen. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months and she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li too changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, ‘Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.’ Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. ‘Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.’

Dealing with negativity in a positive way is called tolerance. – Radhanath Swami

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Tolerate

The Shoemaker’s Son

The Shoemaker’s SonTo remain inspired, positive, faithful, and optimistic even in the most trying situations is the substance of our sincerity. The Lord puts the greatest souls through tough situations and even failures just to show us how they remain positive and inspired to carry on. – Radhanath Swami.

 

As President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, one rich aristocrat stood up and condescendingly said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” The whole Senate laughed thinking that they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln reacted in the most unexpected way. He replied, “Sir, I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many others here for whom he made shoes. Because nobody else could make shoes the way he could. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul into them. I have learnt from my father how to make shoes. If you have any complaint, I can make another pair of shoes for you. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about shoes my father made. He was a genius, a great creator, and I am proud of my father”. The whole Senate was dumbstruck. Instead of feeling insulted by the nasty remark, Lincoln felt proud about his genius father.

 

“One’s greatness has to be estimated by how one is able to be tolerate provoking situations,” Radhanath Swami emphasizes. Provoking situations are an inevitable part of life, whoever we are. Depending on how we respond to them is really what determines how close we become to God. While being crucified, Lord Jesus was praying to the Lord to forgive those who were torturing him. It’s not what happens to us that hurts us; it’s our response that hurts. Contemplating on such examples of great devotees of God, we can find inspiration to tolerate the relatively minor inconveniences that inevitably arise when spouses stay together. Everyone is unique; disagreements and difference of opinions are bound to arise. Instead of responding rashly, one must learn to tolerate such inconveniences and remain united based on the higher principle of coming together and serving God.

 

Remember. No one can hurt you without your consent.

Categories
Blog Relationships

Irreconcilable Differences

Happy marriage

Happy marriageSometimes life makes you take such tough decisions. But as they say, when the going gets tough the tough get going. Marriage is definitely for tough people. To make a marriage last, one should have a tough skin and the ability to switch-on and switch-off one’s ears!! There is a joke about a man who was happily married for about 50 years of his life. His friends asked him the secret of his smiling face. He replied that he was hard of hearing from childhood and so he could switch-off his hearing aid whenever he wanted. That’s a smart man. I wish we women also could do something like that. Anyways, jokes apart, one has to slog to make any marriage work.

In the earlier days, couples would stick together no matter what—even if they had irreconcilable differences. Today, these words—irreconcilable differences—are thrown here and there at the drop of a hat—for freedom! But really, can a marriage be broken just based on these words—irreconcilable differences? I would say the couples in the earlier days were more tolerant than those belonging to today’s jet-set world of technology, where everything is fast or instant—fast cars, instant noodles, fast marriages and instant divorce!

Couples today have no time to resolve any issues in marriage patiently. If this was the case with my parents, I would never have a safe and secure childhood; I wouldn’t get the privileged love of both my mother and father; rather, I would be put in the horrible position of deciding which parent I loved most. I feel that is the most painful thing you could ask a child—“Do you love your mother more or your father more?”

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

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