sincerity | Radhanath Swami | Marriage and Parenting Advice

Thank you God for everything!

‘It doesn’t take a great person to blame others or to complain, but it takes a very very great person to thank god in difficulties.’ – Radhanath Swami

According to our karmas (manifest/unmainfest effects of our actions), we have a particular destiny. But however good our karma is, there will be honor and distress, pleasure and pain, success and failure, heat and cold etc because this is a world of dualities. You cannot have one without the other. But if you become attached to the positive side, to that degree you will suffer when the negative side inevitably comes before us. The solution to this is given by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, He tells us that we should transcend the dualities of life. But, how to transcend dualities of love/hate in a marriage or happiness/ distress in the work place or pride/humility when we have competition or pleasure/pain while raising children?

We can transcend dualities by seeing the Lord in everything, by looking upon circumstances in our lives as His mercy that has come to help us grow into a beautiful person, beyond our vision. And when we learn to offer the fruits of our action as an act of service for god, we can instantly transcend the dualities of material existence and enter the divine realm, beyond love/hate relationships and we are then able to see the other person as a gift of God who has come to us to help us get over our own anarthas (contamination’s) that block our spiritual growth.

tat te ‘nukampäà su-samékñamäëo

bhuïjäna evätma-kåtaà vipäkam

håd-väg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te

jéveta yo mukti-pade sa däya-bhäk.

(Srimad Bhagvatam 10:14:8)

Radhanath Swami explains,“When a person is undergoing serious tribulations, and in that condition with folded palms and tears of sincerity in his heart he thanks god saying I deserved worst, but I know my lord you have a purpose behind this and I am grateful.”

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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The Shoemaker’s Son

To remain inspired, positive, faithful, and optimistic even in the most trying situations is the substance of our sincerity. The Lord puts the greatest souls through tough situations and even failures just to show us how they remain positive and inspired to carry on. – Radhanath Swami.

As President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, one rich aristocrat stood up and condescendingly said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” The whole Senate laughed thinking that they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln reacted in the most unexpected way. He replied, “Sir, I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many others here for whom he made shoes. Because nobody else could make shoes the way he could. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul into them. I have learnt from my father how to make shoes. If you have any complaint, I can make another pair of shoes for you. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about shoes my father made. He was a genius, a great creator, and I am proud of my father”. The whole Senate was dumbstruck. Instead of feeling insulted by the nasty remark, Lincoln felt proud about his genius father.

“One’s greatness has to be estimated by how one is able to be tolerate provoking situations,” Radhanath Swami emphasizes. Provoking situations are an inevitable part of life, whoever we are. Depending on how we respond to them is really what determines how close we become to God. While being crucified, Lord Jesus was praying to the Lord to forgive those who were torturing him. It’s not what happens to us that hurts us; it’s our response that hurts. Contemplating on such examples of great devotees of God, we can find inspiration to tolerate the relatively minor inconveniences that inevitably arise when spouses stay together. Everyone is unique; disagreements and difference of opinions are bound to arise. Instead of responding rashly, one must learn to tolerate such inconveniences and remain united based on the higher principle of coming together and serving God.

Remember. No one can hurt you without your consent.