Lust or Love?

True LoveLove is the greatest need in life. If you have it, you are happy in any situation; if you do not have it, you are miserable and lonely in all situations.

The most important aspect of the soul, the Vedas explain, is ananda – bliss. The soul is by nature full of bliss. This bliss originates in love. Therefore, love is the greatest need. When we forget our eternal love for God, we try to somehow experience that love within this world – desperately. Looking for love in the temporary objects of this world is called kama – lust. In essence, it means trying to enjoy in the state of ignorance of the fact that the endeavor to find happiness in matter has nothing to do with our true self.

Lust manifests most powerfully in relationships between man and woman. The husband and wife, in the name of love, desperately try to find happiness by enjoying each other. Unfortunately, since such attempts cannot really satisfy the soul, a lot of problems can arise. The moment the spouse stops giving enough enjoyment, frustration sets in, leading to serious quarrels. The solution is to understand that material relationships can never give real happiness to the soul. The soul is looking for a spiritual experience in connection with God, an experience of unlimited love.

When both spouses awaken to this knowledge, instead of seeking happiness in enjoying each other lustily, they will seek happiness in serving God lovingly. Since love for God is the source of all happiness, such a God – centered married life will flood their life with true love and bliss.



Ripples in the pool

God The Center“Like a radio antenna constantly emitting circles of energy, our hearts naturally want to constantly expand our feelings of love” — Radhanath Swami.

An infant thinks only about its own desires and needs. But as the child grows older, its loving propensity begins to expand. It wants to share what it has with others, wants to play with others, and wants to develop relationships with others. Its affection could expand, starting from its parents, to friends, to community, to nation, to humanity, and even to all living beings.

Despite this natural propensity of love to expand, why is there so much frustration in our attempts to find love? Rather, there is disunity within this world on every level: economically, politically, socially and even within the family. Why? Because of a missing common center. An example will illustrate this. When we throw a pebble in a swimming pool, the ripples expand to the brink of that pool. But if the ripples created by different pebbles have different centers, they will collide.

Similarly, in marital relationships, if the desires of both the husband and wife don’t expand from a common center, there will be clashes. There will be frustration as repeated attempts to find true love fail. The solution is to find a common centre. And what is the common centre? According to Bhagvad Gita, and according to every scripture in the world, God is the common centre. If one learns to love God, one will automatically love His parts and parcels – and most definitely, the spouse too.


Radhanath Swami Tolerate

Aspire to be a china cup

China Cup“For a relationship like marriage to work in this world, it is very difficult! In fact, for anything great to work in this world, it is very difficult.”-Radhanath Swami

If we want a relationship to have deep substance, deep meaning and deep fulfillment, difficulties have to be endured. Just like the beautiful china cup which was once just a lump of red clay. The potter rolled it, pounded and patted it over and over, though the lump of clay did not like it. And that was not the end. The potter then placed it on a spinning wheel, spun that clay to dizzying speed, poked, prodded and bent the clay out of shape to suit his needs. The potter then put the clay in the oven and treated it to torturous heat. Though it went through unbearable times, there was more in store. The clay was put through cold treatment, brushed and painted with choking fumes, and laid back in the oven twice as hot. When the clay thought what was next, the potter placed it before a mirror and in that mirror it saw the unbelievable. The red lump of clay had transformed into the most beautiful china cup!

God knows what he’s doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are his clay. He will mould us and expose us to pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill his good, pleasing and perfect will. So, when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials, just know that at the end of it all, your life is set to be transformed into something beautiful that you never imagined.

When we endure difficulties in our relationships knowing for a fact that it will help us grow into a beautiful person, God enables us to grow.