Tag: happiness

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Arrest that situation!

Arrest that situation!

Arrest that situation!From here on, I’ll be writing series of short sutras that go a long way in making your married life more happier!

Its an often heard complaint from men that they don’t know how to deal with their upset wife. The question arises simply because men are ill-equipped to really know how a woman ‘feels.’

Women are made up of feelings, largely, just like men are made up of an healthy amount of ego. Addressing her feelings in the right manner is as important for her as is addressing the ego of a man in the right manner. It becomes especially true when she is upset with you! It might seem trivial in a man’s perspective that she is disturbed over an insignificant matter & you might just want your wife to brush it aside and expect her to move on with the more important matters in life. But wait, does it make sense to expect something from an already upset person? Common sense says no, isn’t it? Especially, to ignore someone’s hurt feelings and just walk over it as if nothing has happened will leave that person feel more hurt and more upset. Marriage is about care and respect. When you respect your wife’s feelings, she will respect & love you 100 folds more.

You might have good reasons but its her feelings that need to be healed right now and when it is a matter of feelings, logic or debate will not help the situation. When one is upset, it means that they experience something being taken away from them- they experience a lack or a hurt. If not healed right away, this lack will grow, add and multiply over a period of time and fester into a complicated situation which you at that point will be unable to reverse.

Instead of countering her being upset with your anger or harshness, you might want to treat her with kindness realizing that something has been taken away from the core of her heart & that has been caused by your own action/inaction. The position of humility and mutual respect is never truer than in marriage. Usually, when we take a humble position, solution automatically presents itself- providence sent! But assuming that humble position might not come to us naturally. Nevertheless, we can practice it by what I call stepping ‘out-of-your-body.’ When you remind yourself that you are not this body and that the other person is hurt & is seeking your kindness, you allow yourself to contemplate on ways you can make that person feel better, voila, the solution presents itself before you! If its too difficult to assume that position of humility, you can try to lend a sympathetic ear and allow your spouse to express her feelings. Just by listening to her woes, you can make your spouse feel better. In a marriage any situation or matter can be resolved just by listening to the other person sympathetically & in the long run, you can also build strong unbreakable bonds with each other.

Here are some dont’s :

a. Don’t ignore that your wife is upset with you. Acknowledge & take steps to pacify her.

b. Don’t start explaining how you are not wrong! By being defensive, you are telling her that you are not willing to ease her pain.
c. Don’t try to resolve the matter using logic. It will only worsen the situation.
d. Don’t belittle your wife’s feelings. You may not like how your spouse feels but you have to respect it. By respecting her feelings, you inadvertently get your spouse on your side!
e. Don’t run away from the situation if you are on the wrong side. Nothing works in a marriage like a genuine apology.

If you find that your wife is unwilling to open up or tell you what is bothering her, then give her time by assuring her that you are always available for her. It takes patience to heal a deep seated wound formed over a long period of time.

Radhanath Swami gives a simple insightful message on happiness in marriage. He says ‘seeing other people in terms of their desires rather than your own is the basic principle of loving them. Whenever there are differences, be respectful.’

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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Love

Who can understand Love

Who can understand Love

Who can understand LoveOnce upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!” Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who Helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

When we donot receive appropriate reciprocation of our love, we attempt desperately to seek back love & when we don’t succeed, we become sad or depressed. In such times, we must bear patience and reflect on Radhanath Swami’s words-God wants to give all of his love to us, and all he wants in return is whatever little love a soul has. We just offer that little love to him and in return, the Supreme Lord is willing to give us all the love he has!

 

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Be Divinely Empowered

Be Divinely Empowered

Be Divinely EmpoweredI’ve been maintaining a ‘Forgiveness Diary’ and every now and then I revisit it to see if I feel differently about people I’m committed to forgive but the resentments are running deeper than my resolve to forgive. Just as I was contemplating on the fact, I came across a beautiful quote which affected me deeply and has helped me change my perspective. “Heaven and Earth can never meet as long as you hold even one person outside of your heart.” from Devrah Laval, The Magic Doorway into the Divine. So, I began my journey of introspection…..

The first instinct when someone says something hurtful is 100% of the times ‘self-defense.’ Its the mother of all instincts. We tend to immediately wield our sharpest weapon against the offender and bring her down & then feel satisfied (ofcourse, at a gross level). If we’re unable to defend ourselves, the ‘hurt’ lingers on and the itchy feeling of at least detailing her all the reasons as to ‘why she is wrong,’ persists. What is worse is that it can persist life-long if we are unable to ‘give it back to her.’ Our clever mind keeps us busy by engaging itself into schemes of retaliation. At this point, you know that the set path is destructive but who can control the mind? And because you are treading a spiritual path and have read and theoretically understood that to forgive is divine, a deeper conflict emerges. ‘Am I grossly wrong in beating up my offender or in atleast making her realize she’s wrong!’ Vs ‘How do I forgive and emerge out of it unhurt.’ As the conflict rages on, you cannot seem to get it out of your mind and you activate a negative spiral of thoughts which seems to only collect negative impressions of your offender & more your mind is propelled into thinking how you were wronged, the deeper you fall into the resentment quick sand!

What can we do to overcome these strong negative thoughts? How can we relinquish ourselves from feelings conjured up by other’s acts? It set me think on deeper aspects of other’s behavior and motives. Did my offender know that what she said could hurt me deeply? What prompted her to behave as such? Why do I have such an urge to be understood rightly, every time?

Stephen R Covey has laid out seven habits of highly effective people & I’ve lived a part of my life following it sincerely and one of the habits he mentions is ‘to seek first to understand and then to be understood.’ So, I choose to apply it in this analysis because Covey says that we’re in a habit of deciding prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely because most people listen with the intent to reply & not with the intent to understand. He calls it ‘autobiographical response.’

So, I decided to understand my offender first. Well, it was not an easy decision. It meant that I had to keep my ‘hurt’ aside and wear an objective hat, so that I’m not blinded by my own emotions. On can adopt various available techniques to bring about an objective frame of reference in the conscious realm either through meditative yoga, mantra chanting, breathing exercises or any other means of centering yourself and calming down your mind.

In a calm state of mind when there was possibility for clarity to emerge & objectivity to set in, I attempted to ‘understand’ the words of my offender. As I had drifted deep into this exercise, I realized that it had already provided me relief from the emotional burden (of negative thoughts) that I had been carrying all along. When we seek peace and clarity, we are ultimately creating the space within ourselves for alternative possibilities and healing. Without which, we will remain in a never-ending cycle of unnecessary pain and suffering. As we endeavor to sincerely understand the other person, it opens up the thus far unknown realm of what the other person’s state of mind is and gives us insight into what the other person is feeling & this shift in focus automatically puts us at ease on our own emotional front. If we are successful to break the chain of negative thoughts that
engulf us all the time and are able to bring our consciousness upto this point of peace and clarity, we become divinely empowered to see the ‘Truth,’ which most of the time is covered as we cover ourselves up with the blanket of our own emotions. I understood that to ‘hurt me’ was not the ‘real intention’ of my offender but she was acting on her primal instinct of ‘protecting’ her own sense of self (which is described as false-ego) under the cover of her blinds.

This is how we all act, unwittingly–each precious day of our life–under the spell of our false sense of self, pulling up our cover of emotions, wielding it with the hope that it will protect us, but it actually blinds us from the ‘Truth’ and what’s worse, we expect the other person to understand and respect our emotions, all the while not attempting to understand the other person’s state of mind or emotional being. But when you choose to understand the other person & his action, then you break the negative chain of thoughts and allow something wonderful to happen–the ability to see the ‘Truth,’ then, you have the healing choice of ‘Forgiving’ your offender & thereby ‘Healing’ your hurt. Dear friends, please understand that the only way to permanently heal your hurt is through ‘forgiveness’ and when we are able to truly forgive someone else, the person who benefits the most is ‘you!’ Remember, when we choose to crossover to the other side by attempting forgiveness, we are seeding new impressions that can form new habits. When we collect enough ‘impressions’ through ‘forgiving’ it automatically forms a new habit which means what was an endeavor earlier, now comes easily and naturally to us.

Radhanath Swami says ‘Mind is ones biggest enemy when uncontrolled, but majority of people put full faith on their enemy!’ He further elaborates that there can be lasting peace and happiness only if you keep your mind in captivity.

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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Ouch, that hurts!

Ouch, that hurts!

Anger in Love

There is no bigger emotion that makes us most indifferent to our own happiness than the emotion of hurt. We keep apart and keep away from acting and seeing our dreams by hanging onto hurt to a point that it hurts our relationships, our dreams, aspirations and the very fabric of our lives. Maybe you feel ignored in a relationship or severely criticized & put down or there are scars of abandonment that simply wishes to stay with you. Hurt is the feeling that allows you to close the doors to opportunities and protect yourself in a shell of negative thinking. The difficulty with hurt is the infection it causes in the mind, your mind is taken over by obsessive negative thoughts that can last for months, decades, sometimes a whole lifetime. Most of us hang onto hurt for a long time because we expect someone else to fix it or heal it in someway by acting toward us in a kind and loving way. You know which is the single most difficult act in the human experience to overcome? To let go of expecting someone else to do the right thing and heal our pain! But it is exactly what is needed if we are to get out of our obscure corner and march forward on the path of realizing our dreams.

In his bestselling book ‘The power of Now,’ Eckhart Tolle talks about the “pain body” that we all have. He says that this is the collection of all hurts, sorrows, anger, and fears in an energetic field around your body. It’s your baggage that you haven’t dealt with and continue to carry around. The pain body requires more pain to expand and therefore we end up experiencing automatic reactions to situations that become even more painful. So, we go on collecting hurt and make ourselves appear bigger and bigger victims.

Radhanath Swami gives an analogy. He says accumulating hurt is like picking up a hot burning ember of coal in our hands and holding it day after day, week after week, year after year. Inadvertently, we are only torturing ourselves and if we keep that burning coal in our heart, it will burn to ashes all our virtues, spiritual qualities and make us simply miserable.

The way out is when we shift our consciousness from a victim to a healer identity. The victim focuses on damage, hurt and the bad things that you’ve suffered. Because you have been hurt and most likely have walked on eggshells in your relationship, you have an impulse to be resentful, angry, critical, blaming, controlling, or abusive, behavior that cuts you off from your core values and your true self. Whereas when you develop a healer identity you will focus on your resilience, strengths and a strong desire to improve your life and relationships and you can draw from your core values and derive happiness by reconnecting with your true self.

Identify Your “Little and Unimportant Hurts” : More people walk around saying it’s not important or it doesn’t matter when it is indeed a very important and a big piece of hurting emotion buried within them. They will describe this hurt as being small and unimportant. Men tend to do this rather frequently. Take 15 minutes time and write down a detailed description of all the “little and unimportant hurts” that somehow doesn’t go away. Every little hurt that you keep remembering, that won’t go away, regardless of when it happened, must go on this list. Many people have many of these little hurts from childhood. These emotions are buried within creating difficulties with their health. Identifying these hurts will tell you a great deal about your buried and unexpressed emotions. Then deal with them one at a time how important it is for you to cling on to this hurt, whether you want to free your heart and experience freedom by letting go of this particular emotion.

Learn to say ‘no’: Men and women go through many situations telling themselves that “it doesn’t really matter” or “it’s not important enough to argue about”, basically buying peace by agreeing to something that deep down they do not agree with. They find themselves feeling unhappy, disgruntled, and angry with the individual involved. This type of situation when what you say and do is not in sync with what you feel creates unwanted tension, hurt and unhappiness in relationships. Buying peace at any price creates negative feelings within you. If you are habituated to saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no,’ buy time instead of buying peace. You don’t have to immediately agree to something in which you don’t have your heart. Instead you can gently buy some time. In the meantime, prepare your script which is objective and reasonable that enables you to say ‘no.’

Practice detachment : Michael Yapko, a clinical psychologist in his book ‘When Living Hurts,’ talks about identifying pattern know as the ‘therapeutic metaphor,’ as a clinical approach to healing hurts. Usually hurt is experienced as a metaphor by people eg: I have a broken heart. Some of us may experience hurt like a feeling of being stabbed in the heart or stabbed in the back, or that you have been trampled over. So ask yourself what the hurt feels like inside. Instead of feeling like you were stabbed in the back, step out of your body and see the stabbing and the person doing the stabbing and you will notice that he/she is hurt from a former stabbing. Now ask yourself as you are being stabbed, but watching it from a distance how that person is ever going to heal your hurt when he/she is in too much pain? He/she actually need your healing, but not the other way around. When you practice detachment from this metaphor, the hurt no longer affects you and your mind will automatically become much more positive and optimistic. If you can recognize the other person’s hurt and help them see where they are hurting, it might open up new channels of communication in your relationship.

Learn the art of Forgiveness : Forgiveness is something that occurs as a result of owning and releasing your negative emotions. We often reach for forgiveness without doing the work required to release emotions of hurt and anger & we find the hurt linger on. But when we have worked on identifying the hurt (small and big ones) in the above mentioned manner and released them, then we can truly forgive but if we withhold the free choice to forgive someone, then we simply remain a victim of whoever has hurt us or abused us. As we give the gift of forgiveness, we’re healed. Radhanath Swami says forgiveness means becoming well-wishers of our persecutors, and think for their welfare. He says that one who has the capacity to endlessly forgive the other can truly love the other. Forgiveness is something you can do to open the door to love, to compassion, and to free you own heart and be relieved of the poison of hatred, anger and resentment! If we cannot forgive then there is no possibility of any relationship surviving at any level.

The Power of Prayer : Certain emotions just hang on, regardless what you do.  Prayers have great potency and can enable you to experience deep healing of all your hurts and reconnect you with your original nature of happiness. You can pray to the Lord in all your earnest surrendering the hurt emotion to the Lord. You can also ask someone who you trust to pray for you. There is one thing that you can included in your prayers i,e asking for a grateful heart. Gratitude is the antidote to self pity. Self pity is what we indulge in inadvertently as our anchor when we experience hurt but know that it is a downward spiral and a little bit of gratitude can pull us out of that situation. We can be grateful to the lord in every situation and view the hurt as means of purifying our existence to bring us one step closer to the Lord Himself.

Radhanath Swami says, “Pain may be inevitable but suffering is optional.” It is our free choice, whether we want to suffer or not, though the experience of pain may not be a choice. Even though physically the pain might be hurting, we can find deep fulfillment in the gratitude of having been purified, or we can simply suffer.

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman


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Thank you God for everything!

Thank you God for everything!

Radhanath Swami - Thank you God for everything!‘It doesn’t take a great person to blame others or to complain, but it takes a very very great person to thank god in difficulties.’ – Radhanath Swami

According to our karmas (manifest/unmainfest effects of our actions), we have a particular destiny. But however good our karma is, there will be honor and distress, pleasure and pain, success and failure, heat and cold etc because this is a world of dualities. You cannot have one without the other. But if you become attached to the positive side, to that degree you will suffer when the negative side inevitably comes before us. The solution to this is given by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, He tells us that we should transcend the dualities of life. But, how to transcend dualities of love/hate in a marriage or happiness/ distress in the work place or pride/humility when we have competition or pleasure/pain while raising children?

We can transcend dualities by seeing the Lord in everything, by looking upon circumstances in our lives as His mercy that has come to help us grow into a beautiful person, beyond our vision. And when we learn to offer the fruits of our action as an act of service for god, we can instantly transcend the dualities of material existence and enter the divine realm, beyond love/hate relationships and we are then able to see the other person as a gift of God who has come to us to help us get over our own anarthas (contamination’s) that block our spiritual growth.

tat te ‘nukampäà su-samékñamäëo

bhuïjäna evätma-kåtaà vipäkam

håd-väg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te

jéveta yo mukti-pade sa däya-bhäk.

(Srimad Bhagvatam 10:14:8)

Radhanath Swami explains,“When a person is undergoing serious tribulations, and in that condition with folded palms and tears of sincerity in his heart he thanks god saying I deserved worst, but I know my lord you have a purpose behind this and I am grateful.”

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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LOVE, FOREVER!

LOVE, FOREVER!

LOVE, FOREVER!What is true love? Does it exist in this temporal world? When one says, ‘I’m in love with you,” what do we really mean? Let me explain a little bit to clearly bring out the essence. The mind is a thing and so is the body. It is not part of a person but it is just the covering of a person. The atma or the soul, also called the Jiva, is source of life & that is a person. So, to love someone really means to love the soul in that person and real attachment in the higher reality means being attached to the source of life or being attached to the soul. For eg: When someone close to you dies, there is no much love for the dead corpse but there is love for the person that has left that body, isnt it?

So, everytime we hear a young lover say, ‘I’m in love with you,’ please note that this is not the real love that we are seeking but it is just an expression of ones attachment to the temporary gross body. In actuality, when one says I’m in love with you, it just means, ‘Please satisfy my senses,’ & if you don’t then, ‘I hate you.’ This temporal world is full of dualities, because even though we are not this body, we identify strongly with it, its pleasures & pains & its needs. Therefore, we find that we are not satisfied.

The reason we are not satisfied is because the soul is hungry for true love. The nature of the soul is ‘sat cid ananda,’ it is eternal, full of knowledge and full of bliss. What is that pleasure? It is the pleasure of prema or love. That is the only food that actually gives satisfaction to the heart–to love and to be loved. Actually, when one aspires to find such love, love that satisfies our soul, then it is the highest we can aspire for in our lives.

But we need to use our intelligence to actualize such high aspirations and when our intelligence is being guided by the actual needs and wants of the soul, then our life is directed toward experiencing the highest form of love and happiness thereby. But when our intelligence is being guided by the mind and the senses as against the actual wants and needs of the soul, it leads us to many a binding karmic situations and the perpetuation’s of illusion, which we misunderstand to be love or happiness and it eventually leads us onto the path of misery and suffering only! Everything that we experience through the mind and the senses is “duhkhalayam asasvatam”–it is temporary & brings us misery! All the things we are attached to–be it people or things, will be destroyed & it will end in due course of time.

But, how do we train our senses and mind? The secret is in perfecting our existing relationships. I repeat – The secret of training our senses and mind is in perfecting our existing relationships. All our relationships happen to us with the sole purpose of purifying our existence. Radhanath Swami defines purification as the means of bringing something back to its natural state. Just like pure water means there is no contamination in it. The vedic scriptures prescribe that we can turnaround our situations and miserable conditions of existence when we redefine our love for someone through the means of serving them selflessly. Through rendering service, developing pure motivations and nurturing a genuine concern of wellbeing of everyone around us, we gradually develop divine qualities and bring our mind and consciousness in harmony with the original nature of our soul. As we purify our motives and our selfish tendencies, we begin to attract divine love back into our lives, the love which is the highest treasure and aspiration in all worlds then begins to shine upon us in all its tenderness, bringing fulfillment and unlimited bliss to our being.

Some Relationship pitfalls :

1. To be judgmental: Being judgmental about each and every action of others is not progressive but it is simply distractive. It facilitates us to be argumentative or angry or at best we end up carrying these burdensome thoughts in our mind and breed them day after day until they explode someday. The simple solution to this pitfall is to be non-judgmental. Judging is a force of habit, so we simply have to turn it around and practice being non-judgmental. This requires us just to be aware of our thoughts and actions each and every moment to begin with and arrest judgmental thoughts using our higher intelligence. For eg: Our neighbors dont talk to us ever (because they think they are superior). Stop your mind before it starts the judgmental thought which is given in the bracket. Instead, you can just repeat the fact that your neighbors dont talk to you & be peaceful with it. Believe me, it works like wonder!

2. Harboring negative thoughts about the other person/s: To be envious/hateful towards another, to wish evil/failure for another etc, all these are demoniac thoughts. They do not have anything divine to offer us but hamper our progress on our path of pure love. Please be mindful of not harboring such thoughts even towards people who you consider evil or towards someone who you think is unworthy of respect. Our tricky mind has from time immemorial played tricks to take us away from our goal but now that we are aware of the colossal damage caused by the mind, resolve to yourself not to give into its ways! Replace every negative thought as it occurs with positive counter – thought, even for people who you consider abominable for every soul is inherently good. Do this exercise religiously for EVERY negative thought, relentlessly, every day and one day you will realize that you no longer harbor any negative thoughts but are filled with positive thoughts for people. Thus, seeds of deep love and compassion for every living being fructifies within you as you get connected to the divine realm.

3. Ulterior motives: We have ulterior motives because we sense some kind of profit or adulation/recognition from the act/situation. However, when we perform action laden with ulterior motives, we cease to be genuine caring persons and we fail to attract pure love which is our ultimate goal of life. The best antidote is to practice speaking the truth in every circumstance i,e speak out loud our hidden agendas, even if they may at first sound selfish or you could also confess about your ulterior motive. The only stumbling block we might sense in purifying our motivations is fear of exposing ourselves. But please remember, this is just a mental concoction; our original nature is that we are eternal, full of knowledge and full of bliss. So, forge ahead and break the habit fearlessly and truth will be on your side! Radhanath Swami reiterates that as we progress on the path of pure love, we are supposed to be developing deeper, pure intentions and that means we are devoid of any ulterior motives.

4. Domineering spirit: Most of us fall trap to being control freaks, whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we are aware of it or not! We want to control others, control the situation and control everything that concerns our life. At the deepest level, we do this out of our misplaced propensity to enjoy material nature but the fact is that we are not the controllers and therefore we are frustrated! At a different level, we might want to be in control of situations in our life just to counteract our fears (mostly irrational). However, whatever be the reason, trying to be controller definitely counters our progress. The moment we realize this, we can let go and channelize our energies in developing self-control. Letting go is easier said than done but when we do this as an act of surrender in pursuit of supreme love, it purifies us of our contaminations and then we reflect the eternal nature of the soul.

When you learn to control your mind and your senses, then your mind and senses become peaceful. And in this peaceful state, the true love of the soul can manifest.- Radhanath Swami

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

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Love

Stormy Happiness

“We are not made for each other, we are made for God!” – Radhanath Swami.

Happiness in ChoasA king once offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Of the many entries, he shortlisted two. One was of a calm lake, a perfect mirror for the blue sky, fluffy clouds, and the towering mountains all around. The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But on a closer look the king saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In that bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of rushing angry waters, sat the mother bird on the nest—in perfect peace. The second picture won. The king explained that peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.

“Material life is about expectations,” Radhanath Swami notes. The more intimate the relationship, the more we expect from it. Marriage is the most intimate relationship. In the beginning it appears that both partners are willing to do anything for each other. They fall madly in love. It’s a romantic affair: “we are made for each other”; “our marriage was made in heaven”. But many times, the spouses expect the other half to be exactly what they want him or her to be. But nobody is what you want him or her to be. Due to unreasonable expectations from each other, the relationship can become stormy. Actually, we are not really made for each other, but we are made for God!

The material aspect of married life can be a source of great suffering. But if we have a higher purpose for being together, the struggle becomes meaningful. The highest purpose is cooperating together to serve and glorify God. Radhanath Swami explains, “Even if we put God in the center, the material aspect of married life can still cause suffering. But, amazingly, if God is in the center of the relationship, the typical relationship struggles will bring the two spouses closer to God”. When that happens, there will be real happiness, spiritual happiness.

Thus, despite occasional storms in the relationship, the spouses can find immense peace and happiness if only they keep God in the center.