Tag: selfish

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Love

Our greatest enemy

Our greatest enemy

Our greatest enemyIn the heart that harbors the weed of selfish greed, the flower of love cannot survive. However, to conquer one’s envy, lust and greed, now that is truly monumental – Radhanath Swami

In a certain place, the fishermen were catching fish. A kite swooped down and snatched a fish. At the sight of the fish, about twenty crows chased the kite and made a great noise with their cawing. Whichever way the kite flew with the fish, the crows followed it. The kite flew to the south and the crows followed it there. The kite flew to the north and still the crows followed after
it. The kite went east and west, but the crows chased it nevertheless. As the kite began to fly about in confusion, it got tired and let go of the fish from its mouth. The crows at once let the kite alone and flew after the fish. Thus relieved of its worries, the kite sat on the branch of a tree and thought, “That wretched fish was the root of all my troubles. I have now gotten rid of it and therefore I am at peace.” As long as a man has the fish, that is, lusty desires, he must perform actions and consequently suffer from worry, anxiety and restlessness. No sooner does he renounce these lusty desires than his troubles fade away and he enjoys peace of the soul. The kite cannot live without the fish, for it needs the fish to survive. But luckily for us, there is no such compulsion, as we can survive without lust. However, when we learn that lusty desires and suffering come bundled together in a take-it-or-leave-it package, we are exposed to a choice. What we choose thereafter leads us to the path of suffering or onto the path of liberation and eternal bliss. The choice is ours!

Lord Krishna tells us in the Bhagavad-gita that, “It is lust only, Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material mode of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring sinful enemy of this world.”

An enemy to whom you show kindness becomes your friend,excepting lust, the indulgence of which increases its enmity – Saadi

Categories
Blog Relationships

LOVE, FOREVER!

LOVE, FOREVER!

LOVE, FOREVER!What is true love? Does it exist in this temporal world? When one says, ‘I’m in love with you,” what do we really mean? Let me explain a little bit to clearly bring out the essence. The mind is a thing and so is the body. It is not part of a person but it is just the covering of a person. The atma or the soul, also called the Jiva, is source of life & that is a person. So, to love someone really means to love the soul in that person and real attachment in the higher reality means being attached to the source of life or being attached to the soul. For eg: When someone close to you dies, there is no much love for the dead corpse but there is love for the person that has left that body, isnt it?

So, everytime we hear a young lover say, ‘I’m in love with you,’ please note that this is not the real love that we are seeking but it is just an expression of ones attachment to the temporary gross body. In actuality, when one says I’m in love with you, it just means, ‘Please satisfy my senses,’ & if you don’t then, ‘I hate you.’ This temporal world is full of dualities, because even though we are not this body, we identify strongly with it, its pleasures & pains & its needs. Therefore, we find that we are not satisfied.

The reason we are not satisfied is because the soul is hungry for true love. The nature of the soul is ‘sat cid ananda,’ it is eternal, full of knowledge and full of bliss. What is that pleasure? It is the pleasure of prema or love. That is the only food that actually gives satisfaction to the heart–to love and to be loved. Actually, when one aspires to find such love, love that satisfies our soul, then it is the highest we can aspire for in our lives.

But we need to use our intelligence to actualize such high aspirations and when our intelligence is being guided by the actual needs and wants of the soul, then our life is directed toward experiencing the highest form of love and happiness thereby. But when our intelligence is being guided by the mind and the senses as against the actual wants and needs of the soul, it leads us to many a binding karmic situations and the perpetuation’s of illusion, which we misunderstand to be love or happiness and it eventually leads us onto the path of misery and suffering only! Everything that we experience through the mind and the senses is “duhkhalayam asasvatam”–it is temporary & brings us misery! All the things we are attached to–be it people or things, will be destroyed & it will end in due course of time.

But, how do we train our senses and mind? The secret is in perfecting our existing relationships. I repeat – The secret of training our senses and mind is in perfecting our existing relationships. All our relationships happen to us with the sole purpose of purifying our existence. Radhanath Swami defines purification as the means of bringing something back to its natural state. Just like pure water means there is no contamination in it. The vedic scriptures prescribe that we can turnaround our situations and miserable conditions of existence when we redefine our love for someone through the means of serving them selflessly. Through rendering service, developing pure motivations and nurturing a genuine concern of wellbeing of everyone around us, we gradually develop divine qualities and bring our mind and consciousness in harmony with the original nature of our soul. As we purify our motives and our selfish tendencies, we begin to attract divine love back into our lives, the love which is the highest treasure and aspiration in all worlds then begins to shine upon us in all its tenderness, bringing fulfillment and unlimited bliss to our being.

Some Relationship pitfalls :

1. To be judgmental: Being judgmental about each and every action of others is not progressive but it is simply distractive. It facilitates us to be argumentative or angry or at best we end up carrying these burdensome thoughts in our mind and breed them day after day until they explode someday. The simple solution to this pitfall is to be non-judgmental. Judging is a force of habit, so we simply have to turn it around and practice being non-judgmental. This requires us just to be aware of our thoughts and actions each and every moment to begin with and arrest judgmental thoughts using our higher intelligence. For eg: Our neighbors dont talk to us ever (because they think they are superior). Stop your mind before it starts the judgmental thought which is given in the bracket. Instead, you can just repeat the fact that your neighbors dont talk to you & be peaceful with it. Believe me, it works like wonder!

2. Harboring negative thoughts about the other person/s: To be envious/hateful towards another, to wish evil/failure for another etc, all these are demoniac thoughts. They do not have anything divine to offer us but hamper our progress on our path of pure love. Please be mindful of not harboring such thoughts even towards people who you consider evil or towards someone who you think is unworthy of respect. Our tricky mind has from time immemorial played tricks to take us away from our goal but now that we are aware of the colossal damage caused by the mind, resolve to yourself not to give into its ways! Replace every negative thought as it occurs with positive counter – thought, even for people who you consider abominable for every soul is inherently good. Do this exercise religiously for EVERY negative thought, relentlessly, every day and one day you will realize that you no longer harbor any negative thoughts but are filled with positive thoughts for people. Thus, seeds of deep love and compassion for every living being fructifies within you as you get connected to the divine realm.

3. Ulterior motives: We have ulterior motives because we sense some kind of profit or adulation/recognition from the act/situation. However, when we perform action laden with ulterior motives, we cease to be genuine caring persons and we fail to attract pure love which is our ultimate goal of life. The best antidote is to practice speaking the truth in every circumstance i,e speak out loud our hidden agendas, even if they may at first sound selfish or you could also confess about your ulterior motive. The only stumbling block we might sense in purifying our motivations is fear of exposing ourselves. But please remember, this is just a mental concoction; our original nature is that we are eternal, full of knowledge and full of bliss. So, forge ahead and break the habit fearlessly and truth will be on your side! Radhanath Swami reiterates that as we progress on the path of pure love, we are supposed to be developing deeper, pure intentions and that means we are devoid of any ulterior motives.

4. Domineering spirit: Most of us fall trap to being control freaks, whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we are aware of it or not! We want to control others, control the situation and control everything that concerns our life. At the deepest level, we do this out of our misplaced propensity to enjoy material nature but the fact is that we are not the controllers and therefore we are frustrated! At a different level, we might want to be in control of situations in our life just to counteract our fears (mostly irrational). However, whatever be the reason, trying to be controller definitely counters our progress. The moment we realize this, we can let go and channelize our energies in developing self-control. Letting go is easier said than done but when we do this as an act of surrender in pursuit of supreme love, it purifies us of our contaminations and then we reflect the eternal nature of the soul.

When you learn to control your mind and your senses, then your mind and senses become peaceful. And in this peaceful state, the true love of the soul can manifest.- Radhanath Swami

– Mrs. Preethi Dhiman

…Read Articles in preethi’s Blog

Categories
Love

The Imposter

The Imposter“When there is love in our heart, only love will come out” — Radhanath Swami

Lasting relationships are based on love. And yet, why do so many loving relationships see unhappy endings? It’s not because love was lost, but because it was never really love; it was the look-alike, i.e., lust.

The difference between lust and love is that one is selfish while the other is selfless. Lust is based on ignorance and love on truth. Under the misconception that they are mere physical bodies, many lovers seek from their partners sensations that give pleasure to their own bodies. This is selfish lust, because the goal is one’s own pleasure. The proof of such selfishness is that as soon as the partner stops providing enough pleasure, the so-called love vanishes.

But real love is selfless. It’s about giving, not taking; it’s about the beloved, not the lover. True love is based on the truth that we are not mere physical bodies. We are eternal souls residing within our bodies. The eternal nature of the soul is to love God and all His children selflessly. When we understand this eternal nature of the soul, and when we experience the sublime pleasure of giving ourselves selflessly to reach the soul of an­other, then we know what true love is.

“When our desires get disconnected from eternal truth, they become lust. But when our desires get reunited with eternal truth, all of them become an ex­pression of true love.” — Radhanath Swami.

Categories
Blog Relationships

Ding Dong Bell, Come Join us in the Well!!

Ding Dong Bell Come Join us in the Well!!Hello to all those in the “Well of Married life”. I crack this joke whenever I wish a couple on their marriage day: “Ding dong Bell! One more down the well!!” Please don’t baulk at this, for it does make people laugh! But it also makes them think that we are all in the same boat together sailing either towards paradise or towards hell, and now it is for us to decide what we want. Our married life can be a life of sacrifice uniting us for the higher purpose of serving God or it can be just a business arrangement to fulfill our selfish needs and desires.

But one thing is a fact. We are all united with a common thread. For example, when ladies meet
together there are few topics which everyone connects with immediately: husband and children, in-laws
and outlaws (nickname for in-laws :P.) My sister-in-law is very active in the kitty party scene. That’s the
place where ladies come together and have a good time discussing their husbands (or rather gossiping
about them.) Everyone has a good laugh, and everyone discovers the common traits among husbands.

1.They don’t like to be given directions while driving.
2.They love to throw wet towels on the bed after bath.
3.They don’t like to be told that they are wrong.
4.You have to agree unanimously with them that women are worst drivers.

5.Laugh at all their jokes (even though they are not so funny.)
6.Remember the account of all the shopping in the past month like a computer.
7.They think that if the children are doing badly in studies it’s because of wives and if they
excel it is because of them.
8. Expect the wife to take care of all the shopping, groceries, and provisions, get repairs done,
pay the bills, and teach the kids. (Still, they feel that wife is doing nothing!)
9. Throws a fit when told to do some housework.
10. And the list is endless… maybe some of you can add some more.

And I don’t know what men talk about when they meet. But I am sure they definitely don’t gossip about their wives. If we do ask them however, I am sure they may come up with a longer list about their wives, starting from nagging everyday to pick up the wet towel from the bed……. and it goes on…I won’t go in much detail about that.

Most married couples have the same problems. That’s what binds us together and so we are all connected with a common thread. So let us help each other to make our marriage a wonderful success and a happy experience. With this thought I would like to start a series of posts on how to understand the idiosyncrasies of each other, on how to tolerate and go ahead with a higher purpose of serving God and society by upholding the spiritual values and beliefs which we follow in our life.

– Dr. sandhya subramanian

…Read Articles in Sandhya’s Blog

Categories
Tolerate

Learn From the Tortoise

Learning from Tortoise

Learning from Tortoise“There may be unlimited reasons for us to argue and not co-operate but there is one sufficient reason for us to love and co-operate—it is pleasing to God” – Radhanath Swami
No matter what the circumstances of your life are, when two egos are living so close to each other, there is bound to be conflict, there are bound to be differences and disagreements. “It is natural,” says Radhanath Swami, “but it is not more important than the sacred principle of why you are together as partners in life; it is not more important than the marriage vows you take before God to help each other become pure, to help each other practice the yoga of life, and to love and protect each other for that purpose.”

We can learn a lot from animals. When a predator attacks a tortoise, the tortoise swiftly withdraws its head inside its shell to protect itself from attacks. Similarly, we must learn to retract and withdraw our minds from the enemy called selfish egoistic agendas. While the tortoise is motivated by the principle of survival, we can be motivated by the sacred principles of married life. Then there can be peace and harmony.

A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego- he alone can attain real peace. (Bhagavad Gita 2.71)