Tag: faults

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Love

The Rose Within

The Rose Within

The Rose WithinA certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, “How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?” Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom, it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The good qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential. Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love: to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life, all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the “rose” within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over. As a great man once said, ‘The most favorable friend to me is that who shows me my flaws’.

Radhanath Swami quotes from the Bhagavad Gita, ‘The Gita tells that every living being is a part of God, just as every ray emanating from the sun is part of the sun. When we discover the love of God that is within our own hearts, we see an inseparable part of God in the heart of every living being—male or female; black or white, Hindu, Muslim or Christian, American or Israeli and only then can we truly love the other ignoring all their faults’.

 

Categories
Appreciate

Wipe It Clean

Wipe It Clean“If we are eager to find faults in someone, by the Lord’s will, we will see unlimited faults within that person even if there are none. They will appear as glaring as the sun at noon.” – Radhanath Swami.

 

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they were having breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hang the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean”, she said, “she doesn’t know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”. Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About a month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this.” The husband said: “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!”

Sometimes even spouses tend to compete with each other. Even after marriage the spouses think themselves to be independent persons and not part of a two-member team. “The Lord is seated within everyone’s heart and He reciprocates according to our desires”, explains Radhanath Swami. Yes, there is good and bad everywhere. If we are looking for good qualities in our spouse and opportunities to please him or her, the Lord will reveal them to us. But if we are looking for faults, due to envy born out of unnecessary competition, that’s all we will see. In fact, good qualities in the spouse will only make us more envious of them.

 

Before criticizing the spouse, we should consider the state of our mind. Are we eager to appreciate the spouse for all his or her good work, or are we eager to pass judgments on any little shortcoming? What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. To live a joyful and fulfilling married life, it’s important to clean the window of our heart so that we recognize the good in our partners. The best way of cleaning the window of our heart, wiping it clean of the filth of envy, is to regularly come together and chant the Holy Names of God.

Categories
Appreciate

The Faulty Fault-Finder

Fault Finding

Fault Finding“When we point a finger at others, three fingers point back towards us. This means that before finding a fault with others, we should find three faults in ourselves.” – Radhanath Swami.

 

One young artist wanted to assess his skills. He put his best in painting a beautiful scenery and kept the painting at a busy street-crossing with the following message below it: “Since I’m new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes while painting; please put a cross wherever you see a mistake.”

 

When he returned after a few hours he was shocked to see crosses on all parts of his painting. Broken-hearted, he went to his teacher and wept about how people had rejected him completely. But the wise teacher consoled him and told him that actually his painting was flawless. He asked his pupil to paint the same scenery again. Again they kept the painting at the street-crossing. But this time, the message was different: “Since I’m new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes while painting. I have kept here a box with colors and brushes. Please do me a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it.” And guess what, no one made any corrections for the whole next month. It’s easy to find faults in others, but not so easy to help others improve.

 

Generally, when we associate with somebody for a long time, we start getting tired of him or her. Familiarity breeds contempt. That is human nature. The spouse starts getting on our nerves and we just start finding all sorts of faults. Quite often, our mind becomes occupied with minutely analyzing each fault in the other. But we should know that even we are full of faults, though we don’t want to admit it. Before finding a fault in the spouse, we should first find three within ourselves. If both spouses follow this rule, soon they will start appreciating how the other has accepted him or her with all the faults. In this mood, the spouses can cooperate and help each other diagnose faults in themselves and work together to cure them.

Any ordinary man can find faults with others, even if no fault exists. But it takes a great man to see the good in others, even if there’s only a little bit of it.

Categories
Appreciate

Mutual Saviors

Mutual Saviors

Mutual Saviors“We become unified when despite all of our diversity we serve one another” – Radhanath Swami

A very nice story illustrates this. A church was facing a tough situation: it was losing its members. So the remaining members approached a very saintly person and asked, “Can you tell us how to build up the church again?” The saint replied, “I cannot tell you how to build up your church, but I can tell you one thing for sure. The messiah has appeared as one of the members of your church. But I cannot tell you who he is.” When the members heard that, each one of them thought that any of the others could be the messiah. So, each one overlooked the faults of the others; after all, any of the other members could be the savior. Consequently, mutual respect amongst them grew, and they started serving each other. As they developed love for each other in this way, the church grew and flourished.

Similarly, in marital relationships, we tend to only notice the faults and differences of opinions of our spouse; we tend to take their good qualities for granted. But by remembering always that our spouse is a beloved child of God, we can train ourselves to overlook the spouse’s faults. Based on this higher principle, we can develop the understanding that the husband and wife can be each other’s “saviors”. Then mutual respect amongst the spouses will grow and the spouses will serve each other while helping each other progress spiritually. The relationship will thus grow and flourish.