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Tolerate

Responsibility as Parents

Radhanath SwamiI remember, I was a little boy 6 years old. Once my mother said, “Your father is a good person and everyone likes him, but we might have to get divorced.” I started to cry. I was so confused. ‘How is this?’

My mother told my father that I cried. So they decided they would never divorce. ‘We can’t do this to our children.’ And last May they celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary.

That is integrity, that is compassion. That is what parents are supposed to do. Marriage is responsibility. Responsibility to each other as husband and wife; responsibility for the mental, physical and spiritual well being of the children. Do you know that 92% of juvenile deliquescence in the United States of America is children coming from divorced or broken house parents? This is Federal statistics. 97% of juveniles in prison are coming from broken marriages. But people like to politely protect their own desires and needs by saying, “We will do it smoothly, it won’t disturb the children.”

Why so much conflict within marriage? Because instead of thinking in terms of ‘we’, we are thinking in terms of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ – selfishness, ego.

– Radhanath Swami

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Blog Relationships

Irreconcilable Differences

Happy marriageSometimes life makes you take such tough decisions. But as they say, when the going gets tough the tough get going. Marriage is definitely for tough people. To make a marriage last, one should have a tough skin and the ability to switch-on and switch-off one’s ears!! There is a joke about a man who was happily married for about 50 years of his life. His friends asked him the secret of his smiling face. He replied that he was hard of hearing from childhood and so he could switch-off his hearing aid whenever he wanted. That’s a smart man. I wish we women also could do something like that. Anyways, jokes apart, one has to slog to make any marriage work.

In the earlier days, couples would stick together no matter what—even if they had irreconcilable differences. Today, these words—irreconcilable differences—are thrown here and there at the drop of a hat—for freedom! But really, can a marriage be broken just based on these words—irreconcilable differences? I would say the couples in the earlier days were more tolerant than those belonging to today’s jet-set world of technology, where everything is fast or instant—fast cars, instant noodles, fast marriages and instant divorce!

Couples today have no time to resolve any issues in marriage patiently. If this was the case with my parents, I would never have a safe and secure childhood; I wouldn’t get the privileged love of both my mother and father; rather, I would be put in the horrible position of deciding which parent I loved most. I feel that is the most painful thing you could ask a child—“Do you love your mother more or your father more?”

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

…Read Articles in Sandhya’s Blog