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Believe in Yourself – No matter what He says!

Believe in Yourself- No matter what He says!Most women face this day-in and day-out in their roles as house wives, mothers and daughter- in- laws: being placed under a microscope 24/7; observed, corrected, judged, and sometimes ridiculed. It is too much for one person to take. But somehow it becomes a part of your job as a wife, mother and daughter-in-law all rolled into one. And the people whom we are trained to please from our very childhood are our dear husbands, our in-laws (more difficult than qualifying for Guinness Records) and sometimes even our kids.

Somewhere along the way, catering to everyone’s needs, wants and desires, your own needs and desires take a back seat. Along with all that we are tagged with labels such as “ she is no good”, “ she is too slow in her work”, “ her cooking is not up to the mark”, or simply “ why can’t she be on time”! Especially “HE” is someone who is the hardest to please. However much you bend backwards to serve him, he finds newer and newer disqualifications. So much so that after some time we start thinking maybe he is right….. “ there is nothing Great about me. Basically, I am a no-good wife, mother and daughter in law.” But No! That’s where we go wrong. We believe others more than we believe in ourselves.

As a woman you have to live up to and cater to the expectations of so many people in your life and that can get too much to take sometimes. And you cannot please everyone. By now you must have realized this plain and simple fact. It all boils down to attitude. Successful housewives are those who have a completely chilled out attitude towards life, where they don’t let anything bog them down. A woman with an attitude will never let the bickering from her husband get to her. I know of one such person, my friend’s mother. I would visit her regularly and one common feature I would see was her husband go on and on about how inefficient she was. He would find faults with her from the moment she woke up in the morning. “Tea has so less sugar”, “where my breakfast ”,“ why is the shirt not ironed” and “you always make me late to work” etc. For me, if someone went on and on like that it would get to my nerves in a jiffy and produce a really unpleasant reaction. But I would see this woman, how patiently she would smile and say “Oh how foolish of me, I will just make it right” and she would actually smile through the whole thing. What an amazing level of tolerance. Anyone would think, “She is so backward. She cannot even stand for herself.” But over the years I have seen how her attitude of always seeing the good and not getting bogged down by all the criticism aimed at her has always kept her in good spirits. More than that, she gradually earned the respect of her husband, who stopped criticizing her in due course of time. And today he does not take one decision without first consulting her and has so much regard for her.

If we analyze the whole thing, we realize that she was not affected by all the criticism as she believed in her capabilities and did not let HIS words affect her self esteem. She had enough self respect to never react or get angry with her husband. And eventually she got him to behave himself! Now that’s what I call a Lady who believes in herself!

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

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14 replies on “Believe in Yourself – No matter what He says!”

Thank you for sharing these wonderful insights. Gives all of us women hope and the way to have belief in themselves.

Thank you for sharing this candid article on the woman’s side of married life. It really gives us hope and inspiration.

Very nice article.infact tolerating others does not mean that we have no confidence in ourself.Actually it is a proof that the person who can tolerate others and in due course of time wins the confidence of others is actually a confident person.This point is very nicely exaplained herein by the author.Thank you very much for such valuable article.

Everyone is controlled by Krishna. Better not to find faults with others and try to see the hidden hand of Krishna. All problems solved. Problem is nothing but absence of Krishna.Always try to remember Krishna. All glories to all Vaisnavas.

Thanks for enlightening us with the significant roles played by a female in everybody’s life. Understanding and accepting these concepts are very essential for all of us.

We men are very insensitive most of the time. I will be more circumspect in my dealings with my wife. Thank you for sharing..

Attitude says it all. Be the change yourself, that you want to see in others.
But over the years I have seen how her attitude of always seeing the good and not getting bogged down by all the criticism aimed at her has always kept her in good spirits.

It applies and also should appeal to all-students, mothers, wife, employyee etc

Excellent article! That mother was really very tolerant. It shows how the male ego can be tackled!

A definite eye opener for anyone struggling in a hard time of life. Thanks for the wisdom. Hare Krishna

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