The Yoga of Marriage

If one cares for the whole picture, the little details can be adjusted to blend with the whole, but if one loses sight of the whole picture, little things assume all-importance and cause strife. – Radhanath Swami

Yoga means to bring together, to harmonize, to unite. It’s highest expression is the union of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul God. Union is to become one in love. Unconditional and unmotivated love for God brings about true Yoga.

From a spiritual standpoint, marriage is something more than man and woman living together; it brings together two souls on a much higher level. The husband sees the wife as God’s beloved daughter entrusted by Him to his care. God will appreciate the husband based on how responsibly and protectively he treats the wife, how he respects and honors her as God’s gift. The wife looks upon the husband as God’s child entrusted to her care. God will appreciate her based on how faithful, loving, and caring she is. When this is the relationship’s mood, rapid spiritual progress follows.

As partners in life, the sacred principle is to help each other to become pure. The higher principle is to help each other love God, to help each other become instruments of God’s love for the world. If marriage is to love and protect each other for this divine purpose, then such coming together in marriage is really Yoga. No wonder, Radhanath Swami notes, all different societies traditionally conducted their marriage ceremonies in spiritual places to consecrate the partnership in the service of God.

Anything great is difficult, cheap things come easy. Cheap relationships are easy, but they break in difficult times. Strong, deep, and growing relationships are found on and supported by higher principles. The mind and senses are flickering. Relationships based on their ever changing demands are superficial and short of substance. But by focusing on the divine principles that have brought them together, the spouses can maturely deal with the unavoidable disagreements that arise in any close relationship by harmonizing everything with the higher principles.

Most marital problems germinate from something insignificant and unimportant. If one doesn’t focus on higher principles, unimportant things get importance. If one cares for the whole picture, the little details can be adjusted to blend with the whole, but if one loses sight of the whole picture, little things assume all-importance and cause strife.

The diamond is but a piece of coal that has transformed from crude blackness to multifaceted brilliance under millions of years of high pressure, remarks Radhanath Swami. Similarly, (i) the good and bad times spent together remaining faithful to each other and (ii) negotiating the pressures of married life for the sake of higher principles, are meant to transform the spouses into brilliant gems radiating love of God. This essential principle defines the Yoga of Marriage.