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Tolerate

Freedom to Fly

 

Freedom to FlyTolerance is one of the most important quality in a human being. It really needs courage to be tolerant in provoking situations. – Radhanath Swami

In married life, often times people give up, they separate or divorce. Well, they separate because they just cannot tolerate each other anymore. They become intolerant, they cannot see each other’s face, it becomes too disturbing and difficult to endure a living with the other.

There is a story of a man who pitied the butterfly’s struggle when it was forcing its body through a little hole of its cocoon. When it didn’t seem to make any progress, unable to bear its struggle, he snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon with a pair of scissors. Then, though the butterfly came out quickly, it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. It came out prematurely and had to spend the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that its struggle to get out of the cocoon was God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Similarly, though we may not realize, our struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God gave us some struggle in life, we must accept it with the understanding that He is giving us the opportunity to become a beautiful butterfly with freedom from the cocoon, at the end if it. If we prematurely snip off the difficulties without enduring them, it would only leave us crippled.

Radhanath Swami says that there will be many storms in our life, but if, even in the impossible helpless situations, we endure it all and maintain our faith in the Lord, then that very storm will cleanse our heart.

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Tolerate

Toys are poison

Fighting for Petty Things“My mother witnessed her three little sons as they fought amongst themselves over toys. She used to say “toys are poison” because they cause so much trouble” — Radhanath Swami

Adults look at children and say, “Such stupid children, fighting over such stupid things. After all, what is a toy? Just a cheap piece of plastic. And these children are fighting over it!” But adults have their ‘toys’ too, both animate and inanimate, over which they fight—who belongs to whom, what belongs to whom. And sometimes that fight ends in a divorce. If we simply understand the second chapter of Bhagavata Gita, all problems of this world will be solved. This chapter tells us who we really are. We are not this body, for whose needs we childishly fight. We are spirit souls. Our original nature is that we are eternal, full of knowledge, and full of bliss.

As a spirit soul passes from boyhood to youth to old age, at the time of death, the spirit soul will simply enter another body (BG 2.13). Why then should we make such a big deal out of superficial temporary situations? As for the temporary happiness derived from temporary ‘toys’ of this world, Prahlad, a King of Vedic times, said something interesting. “Nobody tries for miseries, but they come anyways. Similarly, even happiness will come anyways. So, why endeavor for happiness?” He goes one step further, “If anybody wants to be happy, it is very easy. Just stop endeavoring to be happy in this material world. Because as soon as we endeavor to be happy, we become implicated by all the causes of suffering. Whatever happiness and distress is going to come, will come anyways, whether you try for it or not. So why not spend our valuable time to cultivate spiritual happiness by turning to God?”

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Tolerate

A Lesson from Gandhi’s Life

Lesson from Gandhi's LifeThis is the solution for almost every problem in marriage, these two words—‘forget it’!—Radhanath Swami

 

There is an extremely instructive incident in the life of Mahatma Gandhi which Radhanath Swami’s guru, His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, often narrated. Gandhi once had a serious fight with his wife.

They both got to a point where they became extremely emotional and Gandhi shouted at his wife asking her to get out of his house. Kasturba Gandhi cried and walked out. Though Gandhi was the pioneer of ahimsa or non-violence of the modern age, though he was the inspiration for Martin Luther King and so many others to bring about change in society based on that non-violence, and though he was much against fighting, yet here he was, fighting with his wife. That’s the nature of marriage. Radhanath Swami derives a lesson out of this incident, “Mahatma Gandhi is having trouble keeping peace in his house, though he was much more experienced and empowered than anyone of you. Therefore, you must not be under the illusion that you will not have any troubles in your married life.”

 

After sometime when Gandhi opened the door, he saw his wife sitting out on the walkway. So he asked her why she was still sitting there when he had asked her to go away. In reply she looked up at him and said she had nowhere else to go. Gandhi smiled and asked her to just forget it and took her inside the house. And that was the end of the conflict.

 

Radhanath Swami concludes, “This is the solution for almost every problem in marriage- these two words ‘forget it’!”