Paint my World with Love

Paint my World with LoveLove means reciprocation – Radhanath Swami

A millionaire was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted many physicians and medical experts; he consumed heavy drugs, took injections but his ache persisted with greater vigor than before. At last a monk who was an expert in treating such patients was called for. The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colors and to take care not to see any other colors. The millionaire hired a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall on be painted in green color just as the monk had directed.

When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire’s servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master sees some other color and his eye ache would prop back.

Hearing this the monk laughed and said “If only you had bought a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these buildings, walls, trees, etc., and also could have saved a large part of your fortune. You cannot paint the world green!”

If only the millionaire had changed his vision, the world would have appeared accordingly to him, instead he was foolishly trying to change the world to suit his vision which is not only a daunting task but also an impossible one.

Similarly, like the foolish millionaire, we are also constantly trying to change others around us, especially our spouses, to suit our requirements! Changing the color of objects is by far an easier task than changing people and their attitude. People need inspiration, not manipulation. People need love, not directives. The best way we can change someone is when we change our attitude towards them.

Radhanath Swami offers a simple recipe: If you want your spouse to listen to you, you listen to their heart’s needs. If you want to be cared for, you start caring for your spouse. If you want your spouse to love you, you start giving love. Remember, love is seen in actions more than in words! Love means reciprocation. We can start the chain of loving reciprocation’s by changing our vision or our attitude. All other efforts to see a change in the other only brings us more frustration and leads us deeper into the pit we want to desperately get out of.

Though the recipe looks simple, it takes great effort and determination to implement it. But if you genuinely and sincerely put efforts in this direction, you will cherish the result for life!


See the Whole Picture

See the Whole PictureA lesson from his life as a monk….

If you see the whole picture little parts can be adjusted, but if you don’t see the whole picture one little part can create chaos.—Radhanath Swami

According to all the scriptures of the world, at the very centre of the whole picture of marital relationship is a higher principle:  to help each other in loving God, in serving God, and in serving humanity. Keeping in view this higher principle, both the husband and wife can easily adjust and go on with their marital relationship.

In the 1970’s Radhanath Swami lived in an austere Ashram (monastery) on a mountain top in West Virginia.   At that time, how this relationship tip of ‘seeing the whole picture’ helped him maintain friendship with another monk, Radhanath Swami explains, “When I first came to live in an Ashram there was a person, he joined after me but became my authority. There was nothing about him that I liked, and even more important, there was nothing about me that he liked. I was thinking that if weren’t in that Ashram I would never want to do anything with that kind of a person, and I knew that he felt exactly the same way about me. But somehow, we were milking cows together; we milked the same cow, one on each side of the cow. Despite our differences we both accepted in our hearts that the higher principle of our relationship is to help each other to love God, to serve God, to serve humanity, and to follow the path that would purify our hearts. That was the higher principle and everything else we somehow just tolerated. Because we focused on that principle within a year we became best friends for the rest of our lives. We were so absolutely loyal, faithful and helpful to each other. I saw no faults in him anymore and he saw no faults in me. We were serving together practically all day, every day.”