A Hole in the fence

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Lord Buddha

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

In the vedic scriptures, it is said that the source of lust and anger is pride. And in a subtle form, if there is a wrath that means, there must also be pride and lust. These are different expressions of the same attachment within our hearts. Radhanath Swami, therefore, says that we have to go right to the root of the problem which is our material desires and material attachments and only with the help of chanting the Holy Names of the Lord and performing devotional service to the Lord, we can go to the root of that problem and purify our heart. He further elaborates that in the meantime while this purification is taking place, on the external level we must be very careful and tolerate any inclination towards offensive activities.