Blog Relationships

Only One Boss

Who is Boss Husband or WifeI wish a good day to all our readers, as I look out of the window and smell the nice fragrance of mud wetted by the rain. It soothes my mind and makes me think. I think about those women and men who are right now, at this moment, stuck in a traffic jam or are packed in stuffy trains and buses or are rushing to reach their offices on time. Oh! What a rush it is in the morning! Isn’t this the case with most cities in the world? And how fortunate am I that I can sit peacefully, sipping tea and enjoying this moment!

Today, men and women are working on par with each other. Gone are the days when women were expected to take care of the homes while the men worked and earned money. Now, women not only work at home, but also rush to work and slog at the office. They return home, again cook in the hot kitchen, and serve dinners to their husbands. And the husbands only work in the office and feel how inefficient the wife is!!! It is a big price we have paid for being such feminists. No doubt we women are very capable, but trying to assert our position as equals has put an added burden on our delicate heads. Now we not only have to work hard to prove ourselves at work, but also have to slog at home; and still we are labeled useless and inefficient by our ‘bosses’—both in office as well as at home.

On the contrary, in the earlier age the women depended on the men to earn and get the daily bread, while they took care of the house and the children. Their roles were well defined and they stuck to it. Because the women were completely dependent on the men, the men were forced to work hard and provide for the family. In turn, the women took care of everything else at home so that the man was always peaceful. Some old- school people will say that in today’s society the roles of husband and wife have been mixed up, and that’s the reason for so many conflicts in married life. If each one stuck to his/her duties and did that perfectly, there won’t be any problems.

So, is it that women who are qualified and intelligent shouldn’t work? Today more and more women are opting for ambitious careers over family life. Lot of compromises is being made at the home front. Maybe that is the need of the hour; to have a good standard of living, both husband and wife have to work. So perhaps role reversals are inevitable in today’s society. But psychologically we see how it affects each party. Husband feels always threatened if the wife is earning more than him and wife feels why she should take all the responsibilities alone. Obviously there will be conflicts and quarrels, as both are trying to take the position of the boss.

Factually, however, there can only be one Boss! Let me explain. In my case, we both are professionals. I am a doctor and he is an engineer. We have tried to stick to our roles. I have cut down on my clinic days to twice a week, that too only when the kids are at school. Rest of the time I am at home, looking into household matters. We cooperate with each other, and when I have to go for some work he is with the children. But above all, what has helped us through all this is spirituality. Our guru Radhanath Swami teaches us with the example of ripples in water. When we throw stones at the same spot in a lake, we see ripples created in the water that never conflict with each other and move harmoniously in concentric circles. Why? Because they have a common centre. And that common centre in our lives should be GOD. If we keep God in the centre of our relationship, there will be minimum conflicts. So, even though in this day and age, both have to work, earn money and have hectic lifestyles, we can strike a balance by following spirituality and accepting only one BOSS at home—and that is God!!!

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

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22 replies on “Only One Boss”

Very nice way of explaining how to cope up with the relationships between husband and wife. As correctly brought about, its the women who want to turn around the roles and want to compete with the males and hence are at the receiving end. Then why complain. The modern age sees, women want more independence, ignoring the vedic wisdom to be always under the protection of father in the childhood, the husband after marriage and the son at old age. That is why we hear more divorces, more exploitation of women these days than the earlier beautiful vedic way of contented life style. Thank you for sharing such wonderful life style of yours inspired by your Gurudev HH Radhanath Swami.

Till I had come to the last line of this wonderful article I was thinking that huband is the boss. Thanks for opening my eye with the last strike that God is the boss. So perfect. I shall try my best to follow. Thanks for sharing so many valuable realizations. It’s very inspiring to see how you are striking a balance and playing such a significant role to earn a happy home inpite of your high qualification and promising career – an example we can all follow. Thank you very much.

According to my understandings , old system of wife taking responsibilies of house hold and husband working to earn money to maintain the family is the best.Because now a days both husband and wife is working and are they happy? So many instances that when wife returns home from her office,husband leaves home for his office.Days together they dont get opportunity to speak with each other and share their experiences.Therefore husband working and wife taking responsibilities of house hold is the best.One responsibility can be executed in a most dedicated way.Thank you.

Totally unbiased and balanced explanation. Keeping God in the center is truly the way to a peaceful relationship. Thank you.

Very true. If we make Lord Krishna the center of our activities then there is no possibility of having any discord.

When we throw stones at the same spot in a lake, we see ripples created in the water that never conflict with each other and move harmoniously in concentric circles. Wonderful example & many lesson to learn from this. Thank you very much.

Nice explanation of how practical appilication of theories makes life more God centered and peaceful. Well written.

Krishna is the only Boss —–Really it is all perfect. Be happy with what we have. Krishna is the original maintainer. If the whole family serve Krishna, Krishna takes care of the whole Family. Krishna is the real Boss. All glories to Radhantha Swami.

Very good & practical article. This would definitely help me understand the difficulties my wife might be undergoing to manage office & home.

Very true when” God” is the center at work as well as at home , we will be peaceful.
Thank you Radhanath Swami for enlightening us.

I liked your comment – accepting only one BOSS at home—and that is God!!!
many thanks for sharing this wonderful article.

Very nice article, thank you about it. Society is in great need of such holy man like in your case Radhanth Swami

Very nice post…extremely inspiring…only if we recognize the One Boss, ie, GOD, keep Him in the center of all our activities, then there will be no friction.

Fantastic explanation! It was completely convincing to me that there has to be only one BOSS at home and that is GOD, the common center!

Its really very good conclusion.
Its very much needed in our life to live this small span of life with long blissful love.

Thanks a lot to Dear Radhanath Swami and His disciple Dr.Sandhya Subramanian

A very inspiring article.By making God the center of our family life, we can stay away from all the conflicts.Thank you maharaj ji for showing us the right path.

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