Tag: love

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Love

Quenching the Thirst for Love

True love

True Love“Some years ago, I met Mother Teresa at Kolkata. She told me that the greatest problem in the world is hunger; not hunger of the belly, but hunger of the heart.” — Radhanath Swami

Finding love is our greatest need; it brings true fulfillment in life. Without love, we are lonely and emotionally starving. But what is real love? We often mistake temporary pleasures exchanged between husband and wife to be love. But these flickering sensations are like a mirage. A person lost in the desert searches desperately for an oasis of water, and in that desperation, due to longing and hopefulness, sometimes a mirage appears before him or her. That person thinks that the mirage can quench the thirst, but all that is got is a mouthful of hot sand. This is the story of many married couples today – they hope for true love from the mirage of mere bodily relationships.

To understand what real love is, we have to understand who we really are. The basic teaching of the Bhagavad-Gita is that we are not the body nor the mind, but that we are the living force. Our potential is to love and our need is to be loved. Exchange of spiritual love is what we long for. Our mind and senses (e.g. eyes, ears, etc.) are merely the instruments through which we experience life; they cannot quench our thirst for spiritual love.

The Bhagavad Gita explains that every living being is a part of God just like every ray emanating from the sun is a part of the sun. When we discover the love of God that is within our own hearts, we see an inseparable part of God in the heart of every living being—and also see it in our own husband or wife. When we actually understand our spiritual relationship with God, we also understand our spouse’s spiritual relationship with God, and start seeing him or her in that light.

Our natural position is that we are eternal servants of God. This is a universal principle. In the Bible, Jesus says, “What is the use if you gain the whole world but lose your eternal soul?” The first great commandment is to love God with all one’s heart, mind, and soul. The natural consequence of such love of God is that we start loving our neighbor as dearly as we love ourselves. And our closest neighbor is in our own house – our own spouse.

 

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Blog Relationships

Love without a cause!!

Unconditional Love

Unconditional LoveTears streaming down my face, I just completed the last few words of the classic novel ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Emily Bronte. The book is all about love without any reason, love with intense abandon—just like Heathcliff loved his Catherine. Emily Bronte in this classic book brings out the destructive and obsessive nature of love. What is love? That raging fury of emotions which threatens to burn our insides and tears our heart till it flows out like a river, out of control. In this book we see the power of love that can destroy everything in its path. It is truly a love without a cause, a pain that drives a knife through the heart and makes our stomach churn. Oh! What havoc has this love created in this world—unimaginable pain and suffering! They say love has a brighter side which illuminates and elevates. But where is that to be found in this world? Does it even exist?

Like an animal searching for food for existence the dried up heart searches for this most elusive thing. A person may search for his whole life and still be left bereft of it. There are countless people who have died searching for it. Blessed are those who find this love – everlasting and eternal, that not only liberates one but also enlivens one.

Surely, this is not the love of this world, because the love of this world torments and tortures and breaks our heart as we live. If not, then definitely at death. But still there are fools like us who keep on searching. Oh, when will this search end? Great poets and writers whose lives end tragically realize like Heathcliff that love is beyond this body and one has to look for a love which will transcend everything. Is there really such a love?

Yes, Bhagvad Gita speaks of a love which is eternal. That is the love between the Supreme Lord and the living entity. But how elusive this love is too! You feel that you have almost touched it but then next moment you are miles away. Understanding this divine love is difficult without the causeless mercy of the Lord. Yes, truly this is love without a cause. The lord reciprocates with us causelessly. His love is all encompassing and most compassionate. He like a true lover fulfills our each and every desire and finally when we reach his lotus feet we finally experience that love which we have been searching all our lives.

Radhanath Swami, my spiritual father once told me “Even if the whole world is against you , I will always love you”. And believe me that was the most emotional moment of my life. Such all encompassing compassion, I could see, can come only from a true representative of God. Such is God’s love!! Leaving this spiritual divine love behind how foolish I am that I am searching for this love through mundane relationships of this world!

– Dr. Sandhya Subramanian

…Read Articles in Sandhya’s Blog

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Appreciate

Remember the Mantra

Remember the Mantra

Remember the MantraBeneath the veneer of superficiality if we look, we will rightly understand the situations that come in our life—Radhanath Swami

When we marry our partner, we look forward to an exciting journey of togetherness. At first, we are able to see the other person’s love and care in his/her daily acts and we appreciate it. Every time we appreciate each other, love seems to grow and the happiness seems boundless.

But gradually, with passing time, this infatuation fades away and instead of counting the loving ways of our partner, we catch ourselves counting their intolerable faults and picking up fights based on it. What happened to that ‘exciting journey of togetherness’ that we had dreamt of?

Radhanath Swami says, “Beneath the veneer of superficiality if we look, we will rightly understand the situations that come in our life, especially the conflicts—we will know that they are meant to purify our existence.” In the Vedic marriage ceremony the mantra, “Om apavitra-pavitro-va sarva-vastam gato api va yah smaret pundarikaksham sah bhayabhyantara suchih.” is chanted. In essence, this reveals to us that the purpose of human life as well as the purpose of marriage is to purify our hearts and our existence. When we forget this as the purpose of marriage and see our partner as a mere instrument to satisfy our senses, trouble arises.

The Vedic principle suggests that one must see the spouse as a gift of God for purification from conditioned existence. When we rightly understand this purpose, we are better able to appreciate our partner and weave in happiness once again into the marriage.

 “dampatyoh kalaho nasti tatra srih svayam agatah”. When there are no fights between husband and wife, the goddess of fortune automatically comes to the home -Canakya Pandita

 

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Tolerate

Learn From the Tortoise

Learning from Tortoise

Learning from Tortoise“There may be unlimited reasons for us to argue and not co-operate but there is one sufficient reason for us to love and co-operate—it is pleasing to God” – Radhanath Swami
No matter what the circumstances of your life are, when two egos are living so close to each other, there is bound to be conflict, there are bound to be differences and disagreements. “It is natural,” says Radhanath Swami, “but it is not more important than the sacred principle of why you are together as partners in life; it is not more important than the marriage vows you take before God to help each other become pure, to help each other practice the yoga of life, and to love and protect each other for that purpose.”

We can learn a lot from animals. When a predator attacks a tortoise, the tortoise swiftly withdraws its head inside its shell to protect itself from attacks. Similarly, we must learn to retract and withdraw our minds from the enemy called selfish egoistic agendas. While the tortoise is motivated by the principle of survival, we can be motivated by the sacred principles of married life. Then there can be peace and harmony.

A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego- he alone can attain real peace. (Bhagavad Gita 2.71)

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Appreciate

Mutual Saviors

Mutual Saviors

Mutual Saviors“We become unified when despite all of our diversity we serve one another” – Radhanath Swami

A very nice story illustrates this. A church was facing a tough situation: it was losing its members. So the remaining members approached a very saintly person and asked, “Can you tell us how to build up the church again?” The saint replied, “I cannot tell you how to build up your church, but I can tell you one thing for sure. The messiah has appeared as one of the members of your church. But I cannot tell you who he is.” When the members heard that, each one of them thought that any of the others could be the messiah. So, each one overlooked the faults of the others; after all, any of the other members could be the savior. Consequently, mutual respect amongst them grew, and they started serving each other. As they developed love for each other in this way, the church grew and flourished.

Similarly, in marital relationships, we tend to only notice the faults and differences of opinions of our spouse; we tend to take their good qualities for granted. But by remembering always that our spouse is a beloved child of God, we can train ourselves to overlook the spouse’s faults. Based on this higher principle, we can develop the understanding that the husband and wife can be each other’s “saviors”. Then mutual respect amongst the spouses will grow and the spouses will serve each other while helping each other progress spiritually. The relationship will thus grow and flourish.

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Love

Lust or Love?

True Love

True LoveLove is the greatest need in life. If you have it, you are happy in any situation; if you do not have it, you are miserable and lonely in all situations.

The most important aspect of the soul, the Vedas explain, is ananda – bliss. The soul is by nature full of bliss. This bliss originates in love. Therefore, love is the greatest need. When we forget our eternal love for God, we try to somehow experience that love within this world – desperately. Looking for love in the temporary objects of this world is called kama – lust. In essence, it means trying to enjoy in the state of ignorance of the fact that the endeavor to find happiness in matter has nothing to do with our true self.

Lust manifests most powerfully in relationships between man and woman. The husband and wife, in the name of love, desperately try to find happiness by enjoying each other. Unfortunately, since such attempts cannot really satisfy the soul, a lot of problems can arise. The moment the spouse stops giving enough enjoyment, frustration sets in, leading to serious quarrels. The solution is to understand that material relationships can never give real happiness to the soul. The soul is looking for a spiritual experience in connection with God, an experience of unlimited love.

When both spouses awaken to this knowledge, instead of seeking happiness in enjoying each other lustily, they will seek happiness in serving God lovingly. Since love for God is the source of all happiness, such a God – centered married life will flood their life with true love and bliss.

 

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Love

Ripples in the pool

God The Center

God The Center“Like a radio antenna constantly emitting circles of energy, our hearts naturally want to constantly expand our feelings of love” — Radhanath Swami.

An infant thinks only about its own desires and needs. But as the child grows older, its loving propensity begins to expand. It wants to share what it has with others, wants to play with others, and wants to develop relationships with others. Its affection could expand, starting from its parents, to friends, to community, to nation, to humanity, and even to all living beings.

Despite this natural propensity of love to expand, why is there so much frustration in our attempts to find love? Rather, there is disunity within this world on every level: economically, politically, socially and even within the family. Why? Because of a missing common center. An example will illustrate this. When we throw a pebble in a swimming pool, the ripples expand to the brink of that pool. But if the ripples created by different pebbles have different centers, they will collide.

Similarly, in marital relationships, if the desires of both the husband and wife don’t expand from a common center, there will be clashes. There will be frustration as repeated attempts to find true love fail. The solution is to find a common centre. And what is the common centre? According to Bhagvad Gita, and according to every scripture in the world, God is the common centre. If one learns to love God, one will automatically love His parts and parcels – and most definitely, the spouse too.