In this world, the most satisfying, loving relationships are not the romantic affairs that we see in the movies, because that kind of love or relationship does not last long. The real pleasure of the heart comes through real love. What is this love? Love is defined in the Caitanya Charitamrita (the most acclaimed biography of Lord Chaitanya) as the complete giving of the heart for the pleasure of the object of our love – through sacrifice and dedication. That deep propensity to love is within the heart of every living being because it is that love which is the only eternal reality. But, when we come under the influence of our own false ego (ahankar), we’re seeking the pleasure that that love brings us through our own selfish pursuits. Such affection in which we try to enjoy for ourselves is called kama or lust. It’s the material principle. It’s just like a blazing fire that can never be satisfied. As long as we keep feeding the fire of the burning desire for enjoyment by trying to enjoy for ourselves, the hungrier it grows but real love is unconditional and unmotivated.
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified, how could she face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. The husband just said, “I am with you.” He acted thoughtfully. The child was dead. He can never be brought back to life. There was no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
Unconditional love is a very high and pure platform. To get there we have to honestly begin from where we are. The beginning of love is to do what the beloved wants. – Radhanath Swami