Radhanath Swami | Marriage and Parenting Advice

Marriage Counselling

Relationships

Here I blend my personal experiences with relationships, with the wisdom of the Vedas.

Marriage Counselling

Parenting

Here I share knowledge of parenting and teaching with the world.

Newsletter

The Journey Within

…The Journey Within is an intimate account of the steps to self awareness and a penetrating glimpse into the heart

Paid in Full

Posted by
/ / 17 Comments

Paid in FullAfter 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

Radhanath Swami concludes that, “Things can give pleasure to the mind and senses, but only love can give pleasure to the heart. And ultimately, that is what we are looking for.” Make room to express your love to your family, friends and people around you when they are around!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
  1. February 12, 2013

    Sahil Khosla

    Thanks for sharing such a nice article. We actually enclose ourselves in the cage of our work and tasks and don’t want to come out of it hurting many closed ones.

  2. February 13, 2013

    Sumit Sharma

    A heart touching story. If we keep Krishna in center, we will do everything right. Thank you Radhanath Swami for this message.

  3. February 13, 2013

    Deepak K

    Very tragic incident..really explains the heart of a mother!!

  4. February 14, 2013

    Citra Gopi DD

    What a wonderful story – a mother’s love is so touching.

  5. February 16, 2013

    Sumit Sharma

    Very nice message from Radhanath Swami “Things can give pleasure to the mind and senses, but only love can give pleasure to the heart. And ultimately, that is what we are looking for.” It’s very true and if we follow what he says, we would find real peace in our lives.

  6. February 17, 2013

    Vikram

    Absolutely Amazing !!

    Radhanath Swami gets to the ROOT of the problem. This is not just a story it is a reality we are living in and its better we change before its too late.

    Thank you very much.
    With a grateful heart

  7. February 18, 2013

    Sunny

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful lesson-“Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till some other time.”

  8. February 19, 2013

    nandkishor das

    evrything was a special one specially- I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve……. & so do I understand

  9. February 20, 2013

    pranjal

    This story is really heart touching and an eye-opener about our responsibilities towards our parents. Thanks for sharing this.

  10. February 20, 2013

    Pankaj

    Very heart-touching incident. We must take out time from work for friends & family. Thanks to Radhanath Maharaj. Thanks for sharing.

  11. February 21, 2013

    Samir Paleja

    It makes sense to make dear ones feel our love, as life is very uncertain. Thanx for posting wonderful article.

  12. April 8, 2013

    Piyush Singh

    Glorious is your wife to free and inspire you for that meeting. Most of the times the possessiveness doesn’t allow the wives to recommend something like this to husbands. Fortunate was your mother to have you as her Son. and Fortunate are the readers who’d get to read this beautiful example and try to follow.

  13. May 7, 2013

    Kalpana Kulkarni

    Things can give pleasure to the mind and senses, but only love can give pleasure to the heart. And ultimately, that is what we are looking for.” Very true! We should express our love and concern always and not postpone it for another day.

  14. May 12, 2013

    Aishwarya

    A heart touching story with deep lessons on value of relationships.

  15. May 17, 2013

    Chandrika

    We forget our mother’s love so easily.

  16. June 11, 2013

    Rakesh

    Really a heart touching example to realize what our loved ones value. Thanks to H.H Radhanath Swami for realizing this to us.

  17. June 17, 2013

    Kalpana Kulkarni

    Make room to express your love to your family, friends and people around you when they are around! – very true. Most often we take things and people for granted and do not express our feelings. We should do it often when they are still alive, otherwise we will feel sorry after their departure for not revealing our true feelings.

Leave a comment

3 Things you do in Married Life....

Tolerate

  • Weeds in the Garden

    The more weeding you do, the more beautiful your garden becomes. The more negativity you remove in married life, the more beautiful your relationship with your spouse becomes, and the more your family becomes united with God in the centre!
    Read More …

Appreciate

  • Married Life

    Audio on Married Life

    I have never been married. As a Swami, I will never get married. So I don’t know so much about married life. But because so many married people come to me with their problems, I know too much about married life. Whenever people come to me it’s like they have such a unique secret problem that’s so much their own. But interestingly, almost everyone tells me the same thing…..

    –Radhanath Swami

Love

  • Love in marriage?

    Scene 1: (morning)

    Wife to husband: I am going to throw the garbage… why are you still reading the newspaper? Arent you getting late for office? [I asked him to throw the rubbish, he simply doesnt care to help me!]