Category: Radhanath Swami

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Blog Love Relationships

Love in marriage?

 loving-marriage

Scene 1: (morning)

Wife to husband: I am going to throw the garbage… why are you still reading the newspaper? Arent you getting late for office? [I asked him to throw the rubbish, he simply doesnt care to help me!]

Husband: Is the breakfast ready? [Everyday I have to remind her that I have to leave office by 8.00am. I’m always reaching office late!]

Wife: Breakfast is there on the table. Please help yourself as I have to throw the garbage now. [when I ask him to do some work, he immediately picks a reason to bash me up]

Husband: Cant you do that later and serve me breakfast instead? What is this, Upma again? [Aman always tells how nicely his wife serves him everyday]

Wife: Do you have anything else except complaints for me? [I am fed up. What happened to all the love he was proclaiming he had for me after our marriage?]

Husband: Look, don’t start off another duel of words early in the morning. My whole day gets spoilt. Its an important day for me at work. [I better leave now, before another war of words starts. I have to call Raman and ask him to check on the meeting preparations].

Wife: If work is the most important thing for you in your life, why did you marry me? [feels hurt & breaks down]

Husband: I dont have time for this now, I’m leaving! [angrily slams the door as he’s leaving]

 

 

Scene 2: (morning)

Wife to husband: Oh dear, will you please throw the rubbish. If I dont start making the dosas now, you’ll get late.

Husband: Sure dear..anything for you and your simply wonderful dosas!

Wife: [Smiles] Stop flattering me! oh! I forgot completely that its an important day for you at work today. You get ready dear and I will throw the rubbish later.

Husband: Thanks Uma. You are so understanding, it takes the pressure off me! I’ll come early this evening and let’s go for our long forgotten walk in the park, what say?

Wife: [All happy] Okey-dokey! Breakfast is ready!

Husband: I’m more ready!
[both share a good laugh]

The secret to happiness and love in marriage, Radhanath Swami says is when there is culture of service and appreciation. Srimad Bhagavatam identifies the major enemies that attack us from within and pit us against one another as lust, pride, envy, greed, sinful activities and vanity. By learning to subdue these enemies within ourselves, we become happy and peaceful in our marriage relationships, and indeed in all of our relationships. These enemies can gradually be subdued by spiritual practices, such as chanting the holy names of the Lord.

“In everyday life, our relationships with one another are practice for the divine relationships we will eventually experience. The quality of our interactions indicates how well we are preparing ourselves for association with the Supreme Lord.”(HH Bhaktitirtha Swami)

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Tolerate

Weeds in the Garden

tools_garden“If we remain faithful to the ideals we strive for, all the tests will only make us stronger.”- Radhanath Swami.

Once there was a beautiful garden. The gardeners would toil endlessly – planting, pruning, weeding – to make it fresh and blooming.

One day, the gardeners went to the head gardener and said, “All this work is very tiring. We want to offer special prayers and ask the demigod in charge of plant life for a boon.” Thus they invoked that demigod through prayers.

“What is it you wish?” asked the demigod. They said, “Oh lord! We are tired of all the work we have to do to make the garden beautiful. The worst is weeding. Please grant us that there will be no weeds in the garden.”

“So be it!” said the demigod.

That day onwards, no weeds grew in the garden. The gardeners were relaxed and at ease. Their work had reduced by half. Thus passed a few days. Slowly, the plants in the garden started wilting. They looked limp and listless. The gardeners became worried. Their garden was no longer beautiful. They invoked the demigod again and complained.”What has happened, lord? Why are our plants wilting? ”

The demigod said, “There cannot be a garden without weeds. You cannot tell the weeds not to grow. When they grow, you must remove them. That is how the soil gets turned and oxygenated. That’s how plants thrive.”

And that is how it is with the pinpricks of family life. They help us to grow and come closer to God, when done with the right consciousness. Any challenges and problems must be dealt with. We cannot wish them away.

The more weeding you do, the more beautiful your garden becomes. The more negativity you remove in married life, the more beautiful your relationship with your spouse becomes, and the more your family becomes united with God in the centre!

 

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Love

Kiran Learns his lesson

cold water (1)For a marriage to work in this world, it is very difficult. In fact, anything great is difficult; cheap things come easy. –Radhanath Swami

It happened during summer. Kiran was travelling by train, immersed in thought; lately, he and his wife weren’t getting along well.

It was hot and the train stopped at a small wayside station.

“Cold water. 50 paise a glass,” called out a young boy, vending water on the platform.

A merchant travelling in Kiran’s compartment stuck his head out and asked the boy , ” 50 paise is too much. Will you give for 30 paise?”

The boy looked briefly at the man and said “You are not thirsty at all. Had you been thirsty you would not have wasted time, haggling over the price.”

That day Kiran picked up a valuable lesson. If you want something badly enough, you must pay the price for it—not just in terms of money—you must be willing to work sincerely and put forth the effort. Only then can your desired goal be achieved. Now he knew what to do with his marital relationship. He had to work hard—invest his time, energy and love—for it to work well. It wasn’t going to come cheap.

Categories
Appreciate

Married Life

Audio On Married Life

I have never been married. As a Swami, I will never get married. So I don’t know so much about married life. But because so many married people come to me with their problems, I know too much about married life. Whenever people come to me it’s like they have such a unique secret problem that’s so much their own. But interestingly, almost everyone tells me the same thing…..

–Radhanath Swami

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Tolerate

Domestic scandals

beggarEvery moment we have the free will to react to whatever comes upon us; and character is how we respond to every situation by feeding the goodness of our heart, the divinity within us, rather than the anger, envy and selfishness. –Radhanath Swami

“Bhikshaan Dehi” the voice cut through the haze of the afternoon sun. The housewife hurried out with a bowl of rice for the mendicant on her doorstep. As she offered, she asked him a question. “Why do I and my husband quarrel with each other?”

The mendicant raised his voice and said, “I have come for alms. Not to answer your silly questions”.

The housewife was taken aback. How rude this mendicant was! He was the receiver of alms and she was the giver. How dare he talk to her like that! “Arrogant and ungrateful you are. No manners, no consideration.” and thus she scolded and abused him.

When she was a bit quiet, the mendicant said, “My child, how angry you became when I raised voice and spoke to you! Indeed, it is anger alone which leads to quarrels. If you and your husband learn to control your anger, you can be sure, there will be lesser quarrels in your home.”

 

 

 

Categories
Appreciate

The Lion loses both

MoroselionIf only we can just appreciate what we have been given, God will reveal Himself to us.

– Radhanath Swami

It was a lovely day in the forest. Kaa Kaa was perched high on the branches of a wild fig tree. A deer quenched its thirst at a nearby waterhole and a rabbit slept peacefully at the foot of the tree. Life seemed good.

Just then a lion came upon and looked at the deer and thought, “Ah, a deer ! What luck ! I’d rather have deer than rabbit for supper.” With a roar and a leap, the lion took off after the deer. The deer panicked and ran for its life. The lion chased in hot pursuit and after several minutes realised that it was a fruitless chase. The deer was swifter and managed to give the lion the slip.

“Brother “, panted the lion. “The deer has escaped. Oh well, never mind. I can still go back to the rabbit.” But it was not the lion’s day.  The rabbit had woken up with the lion and deer commotion and had escaped to a safer location.

It was a hungry lion that went to bed that night. And it was a valuable lesson that Kaa Kaa learnt. That day he told his friends, “If you drop a smaller gain and run after a greater gain, you may end up losing both.”

In short, a bird in the hand is worth two in a bush.

Another lesson: Learn to appreciate your spouse. If you look for a better one, you might end up losing even this one.

 

Categories
Love

The more he did…

 

boy doing worshipAusterity means putting aside our selfish ambitions for a higher purpose

– Radhanath Swami

A little boy was sitting and eating a mango. He loved mangoes and so was enjoying the sweet taste of the luscious fruit. Just then his mom came and reminded him that it was his turn of deity worship the next day. In their house it was rule, everyone had to do deity worship by turns and tomorrow was his turn.

“Oh no!” he thought to himself. He did not like to do deity worship. Sometimes he would try to get out of it. Sometimes he would just do the deity worship really quickly so it would be over as soon as possible.

That day he thought, “Oh well, it is my turn, then I have to do it.” The next morning when he started doing the worship, it did not seem so bad. “May be”, he thought to himself, “this could be fun”. But he soon forgot about it as there were so many other things to do.

The next time when it was his turn for worship, he did not mind. In fact he almost found himself looking forward to it. To his surprise he was enjoying it. Soon he started doing deity worship even when it was not his turn.

The more he liked, the more he wanted to do. And the more he did, the more he liked it. The more and more he did deity worship, the more and more he liked doing it. Until one day the liking became loving!

Let’s learn a lesson from this story: Marital relationships go deep when we treat our spouse as a sacred child of God who’s put under our care. To live with such a conception may be an austerity in the beginning, but if we try sincerely, soon we will like it, and our love will grow deep and real, beyond the superficial.